Ch 30
Bai Qian
Bai Qian had never shared intimacy with a man she didn’t love. She knew she and Ye Hua were lovers in the past, but it was the past she couldn’t remember. Ye Hua claimed to know her body more than anyone. Bai Qian would put him to the test.
Ye Hua came into her chamber excited while Bai Qian felt unsure. Ye Hua instantly grabbed Bai Qian by the waist, pulled her to him, and kissed her passionately. While Ye Hua was kissing her, Bai Qian was thinking how young Ye Hua was. He was the exact age her grandchildren would have been if Bai Qian had married at a proper age.
Bai Qian suddenly felt like a cradle robber.
Bai Qian tried to relax, closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel Ye Hua’s kiss. His lips were full, sensuous, with the lingering hint of the wine he’d been drinking. Ye Hua licked her lips before slipping his tongue into her mouth. Ye Hua was impatient, used a spell to remove their clothes, and instantly she was naked.
Bai Qian was glad Ye Hua wasn’t like Mo Yuan because the dress she was wearing was one of her favorites. If he ripped it off as Mo Yuan had done in the past, Bai Qian would have been highly annoyed. She might have hit Ye Hua on the back of his head because the dress was a one of a kind and she wouldn’t be able to replace it.
Bai Qian realized she was thinking about Mo Yuan and her dress, while she was nude with Ye Hua. She took a deep breath and cleared her cluttered mind.
Ye Hua moved Bai Qian to her bed, but his urgency was high just like his older brother, Mo Yuan. Bai Qian wondered if it was a genetic trait while Ye Hua was sucking on her breasts. Ye Hua moved on top of her between Bai Qian’s thighs and moaned her name. When Ye Hua started to penetrate her at a slow pace, and she felt him inside her, Bai Qian thought one thing. She thought ‘yes, he and Mo Yuan were identical twins. Their ‘manhoods’ were the same size.’ The sensation of Ye Hua’s sword inside her felt… felt…like, Mo Yuan. Bai Qian was thinking about Mo Yuan while Ye Hua was inside her.
Bai Qian realized she was doomed to a lifetime of celibacy.
Ye Hua held her face tenderly, looked Bai Qian deep in the eyes and whispered that he loved her before he climaxed inside her. Ye Hua repeated his enduring words of love before he started to make love to her again.
If anything, Bai Qian gave Ye Hua credit for trying so hard. His youth apparent because his stamina was impressive. Was it pleasing? The touch of a handsome man is always pleasant, no? But Ye Hua was not Mo Yuan. Only Mo Yuan was Mo Yuan.
Afterwards, Ye Hua apologized for not being able to please her and asked Bai Qian for more time, and she agreed. Bai Qian understood the first night would be awkward and Bai Qian admitting to being nervous. Ye Hua kissed her while holding her and said it would be better the next time.
Bai Qian hoped Ye Hua was right or she was destined to live the life of a monk.
Ye Hua spent the next couple weeks making love to Bai Qian often, but the result was always the same. Ye Hua was a generous lover. Sometimes he was gentle and tender, and other times he was animalistic and rough. As pleasing as his body felt, Ye Hua wasn’t Mo Yuan.
Ye Hua was confused. He said he was Bai Qian’s first lover and was able to please her easily in the past. Ye Hua admitted SuSu didn’t love him from the start, but she’d grown to love him after sharing physical pleasure. Bai Qian explained to Ye Hua a woman’s body reacted differently depending on her mindset. For herself, the art of seduction and making love started with the mind and heart. Bai Qian said, once her heart fulfilled and mind aroused then her body would follow.
Ye Hua asked for one more chance to please her. Ye Hua suggested they go to where they began; they would go back to Mount Junji. The place where it all started. The thatched hut where their love began over 10,300 years ago.
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Ye Hua
Ye Hua was confident he could make Qian Qian fall in love with him again. Both SuSu and Qian Qian from the past fell in love with him the same way. They grew to love his touch. Strangely, Qian Qian was different this time. As a woman, she’d blossomed into a new person with confidence. She wasn’t lonely SuSu or angry vengeful Bai Qian, Qian Qian was a person who was a bit wiser. She’d grow emotionally through her sufferings and painful past.
Where vindictive Qian Qian, from 10,000 years ago, hid her inner intentions and masked her feelings, revealing only the top layers of herself like an onion. Unfortunately, those top layers bruised and damaged due to Ye Hua’s mishandling, when she was SuSu. The Qian Qian that fell in love with him again was Qian Qian, and SuSu fused together. Qian Qian and SuSu, cohabitants in a single tormented mind, unable to move forward or back, but stuck somewhere in the middle.
The present Qian Qian was opposite. She was honest, insightful, and unafraid to expose her inner core, Qian Qian had healed herself. She was still mischievous and created havoc everywhere she went, but she’d moved forward and found peace in herself, her past and her life. Now Qian Qian made choices with a healthy mind and heart with consideration of the outcome. She was a different woman altogether.
Ye Hua loved this Qian Qian also. His love remained the same and unchanged.
Because Ye Hua’s love Qian Qian was infinite and her happiness his primary concern, Ye Hua came to realize he could love her from afar. Ye Hua couldn’t force her to love him and didn’t want to. Ye Hua realized after getting Qian Qian back; his obsessive love was holding Qian Qian back from having her heart fulfilled. She stayed for A-Li, but her heart was somewhere else. It was with Mo Yuan on Kunlun Mountain. Ye Hua would take Qian Qian to Mount Junji one last time. They would go back to the start, and if his efforts failed, they would end where they began. Coming full circle, finally, both Ye Hua and Qian Qian, would have closure.
Ye Hua had also grown through his experiences of meeting and loving three different Qian Qian, and he was finally ready to let go.
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Mount Junji
To Ye Hua’s amazement, everything inside the thatched hut was as it had been when he first met SuSu. Even though he’d built it for SuSu’s soul after Qian Qian jumped from Zhuxian Terrace, he hadn’t gone inside.
Ye Hua tempted A-Li with his sword to go practice with Tian Shu, his bodyguard and told A-Li he was going to try to make a little brother for him so to stay outside for a while.
Everything was the same even the fact Qian Qian was napping in the small bed. Ye Hua laid next to her and inhaled Qian Qian’s sweet fragrance. Qian Qian threw her arm over Ye Hua’s chest as she’d done in the past. Ye Hua felt as if he’d gone back in time. 10,300 years back in the past.
Ye Hua smelled the slightly dry scent of the wooden bamboo roof and heard the wind blowing softly through the trees. Even the birds were lightly singing in the distance. Ye Hua felt the satiny crimson quilt against his skin and Ye Hua felt like he was home.
Qian Qian began to stir lightly in her sleep, and Ye Hua turned and kissed her gently on her pouty lips. Qian Qian slowly began to return his kiss. Ye Hua removed her clothes. Qian Qian wasn’t entirely awake yet, she responded to his touch. The first time since they’d re-started their intimacy. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled his lips to her and kissed him deeply. Ye Hua felt as if he was melting from her touch.
Qian Qian’s soft, smooth skin against his, her light moaning, Qian Qian’s caresses was intoxicating. She was so gentle and tender. Qian Qian gasped when he entered her and groaned softly in his ear. Ye Hua felt her wrap her legs behind him and pull him into her deeper. The wet and silky sensation of being inside Qian Qian was overwhelming.
Qian Qian eyes still closed as she dropped her head back and parted her lips. Soft moaning came from her pink colored, lush lips. All her movements were so sweet and gentle. Ye Hua couldn’t hold back as he heard her moans gradually get louder. Qian Qian deeply groaned as she started her pleasure peak. She pulled his lips to hers and kissed Ye Hua passionately. Ye Hua felt her tightness around his throbbing manhood broke their kiss and put his face into her hair. It was the reminiscent red satin quilt against his bare skin, familiar scent of their first home, the light breeze followed by the sound of swaying trees, Ye Hua lost himself in the memories and lightly moaned,
“SuSu.”
Qian Qian didn’t hear him. She never opened her eyes. Qian Qian smiled and fell asleep in his arms. Ye Hua was shocked by his mistake. Thankfully Qian Qian was climaxing and moaning loudly, so Ye Hua’s error was unheard by her. Ye Hua kissed Qian Qian’s forehead and felt a sense of relief. Qian Qian had finally begun to open herself to him. This time in intimacy, Ye Hua brought Qian Qian to climax. He closed his eyes and fell asleep beside her and thanked the moon and stars for allowing him another chance to gain Qian Qian’s love. It was only the first time, but it had finally happened.
After their afternoon love nap, Ye Hua awoke to see Qian Qian standing with her back to him looking out the window. Ye Hua chuckled thinking how beautiful she looked even from the back. Everything about Qian Qian was perfect in Ye Hua’s eyes. He called her name softly but her concentration so deep she didn’t hear him. He called her again and then again and heard her say in a distant voice,
“Ye Hua, everything is the same. The smell of the trees. I can feel the light breeze” She put her hand out and felt the breeze then reached up and touched the bird-cage.
Ye Hua was feeling the same nostalgia and replied, “Yes, and we are here together again…finally.”
Qian Qian’s voice still distant and light, “Yes, it’s almost like a dream isn’t it Ye Hua?”
Qian Qian slowly turned around, and to Ye Hua’s shock, she had a band of white material covering her eyes and his sword in her hands. She asked in a whisper of a voice,
“Ye Hua, why did you call me back? How many times must I die for you to release me?”
Ye Hua took a step towards her, and she put the blade against her neck, so he stopped,
“Qian Qian, wake up! You’re dreaming. Put the sword down please.” Ye Hua pleaded.
Qian Qian still had the blade pressed into her neck as tiny drops of blood began to drip down her skin.
Ye Hua begged, “Qian Qian, please. You’re dreaming. You must put the sword down! I’m begging you, my love.” Ye Hua begged.
“Ye Hua this time you must let me go.” Qian Qian whispered weakly as she pressed the sword deeper into her neck.
“MOTHER NO!” A-Li yelled from outside. A-Li was terrified.
Qian Qian surprised, paused, turned towards A-Li’s voice, lowered the sword a bit, but it was enough time for Ye Hua to cloud jump grab the sword and summon a spell for sleep.
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Celestial Heaven
Qian Qian woke up and sat up swiftly in fear and panic. Ye Hua saw her eyes still closed. Qian Qian pat around herself nervously as if she was unable to see and asked in a timid voice,
“Where am I? Who’s there? Where is this place?”
Ye Hua reached for her, but she flinched and jerked away terrified. Ye Hua said, “You’re in Celestial Heaven in your bed inside the Hall Of Beautiful Youth.”
Qian Qian shook her head ‘no’ and said,
“No. No. No. I don’t want to be here again.” Qian Qian crawled from her bed rapidly and tumbled to the ground.
Ye Hua stopped her as she crawled around the floor with her eyes shut tight. She was whimpering, rocked herself and calling Ye Hua’s name.
“I’m right here. You don’t have to be afraid. Nobody can hurt you ever again.” Ye Hua whispered as he held Qian Qian in his arms. Tears ran down his face as he said,
“SuSu, open your eyes. I’ve returned them to you. You can see again. Don’t be afraid. You have your sight back.”
Qian Qian slowly, cautiously, hesitantly opened her eyes. She blinked a couple of times before she looked up at Ye Hua. SuSu held Ye Hua’s face gently with both hands and called his name softly.
“SuSu, you can see again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry my love. I’m sorry, I took your eyes, but look I got them back for you.” Ye Hua said as he cried.
Qian Qian looked up at him, but it was SuSu. Her soft expression and a tiny smile came to her lips.
Ye Hua was still crying as he repeatedly apologized while holding her in his arms. He kissed her forehead. SuSu had tears running down her face.
“Forgive me Ye Hua for leaving you and A-Li,” SuSu whispered.
“No, it was all my fault. I’m the one you need to forgive. I love you so much but couldn’t do anything to save you. You thought I didn’t love you. It was all my fault. Everything is all my fault.” Ye Hua replied still crying.
“SuSu did you know what we did the other day? You and A-Li watched billowing clouds in the afternoon, and we all sat under the stars just like you always wanted to do. We can do it again now that you’re back.” Ye Hua’s words broken between his jagged breath,
“Forgive me my love for hurting you so much. You are my only love, for all eternity.” Ye Hua put his forehead against hers as his tears fell on SuSu’s face.
SuSu held Ye Hua’s face tenderly,
“I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. Ye Hua, it’s time for you to forgive yourself. We are not indebted to one another. We are husband and wife.”
Ye Hua crying harder asked “If you forgive me why must you kill yourself? Why can’t you stay here with me? Please, SuSu stay with A-Li and me. Don’t leave me. We can live forever, like the newlyweds you wanted us to be. I still haven’t planted ten miles of peach trees for you yet, but I will now.”
“No, Ye Hua I can’t stay. I must go.” SuSu replied softly.
“If you’ve forgiven me and love me then why must you go?” Ye Hua pleaded with her.
“I forgive you for everything. I don’t harbor any bad feelings towards you, my husband. I forgive you completely, but I can’t forget. Ye Hua, I can’t forget. I can’t erase the things I’ve seen, and I can’t live with the memories that are why I keep killing myself. I must go so Ye Hua let me die so I can forget. Please?” SuSu wiped Ye Hua’s tears away and smiled, “Please Ye Hua, help me forget. I will let you go, and you must do the same.”
In all the years of SuSu waited for Ye Hua without question, she’d never asked for a single thing. SuSu gave Ye Hua all of herself. SuSu selflessly gave her trust, endless love and a beautiful son, without a single request for anything back in return. Ye Hua was greatly indebted to SuSu. This time Ye Hua would give SuSu what she wanted. SuSu’s one and only request was peace. Ye Hua would give her peace in return for the unconditional love SuSu gave him.
Ye Hua would help SuSu forget.
Ye Hua kissed SuSu’s forehead and replied tearfully, “I will help you forget SuSu. You don’t need to hurt anymore. I love you so I will help you forget.”
Ye Hua summoned a cup water from the River Of Oblivion. Ye Hua looked SuSu deeply in the eyes and whispered softly, “I will always be completely devoted to you.” Ye Hua lifted SuSu’s head and held the cup to her lips.
SuSu drank it as she looked up at Ye Hua, smiling and said, “You must promise to forgive yourself.”
Ye Hua nodded he would then kiss SuSu one last time and whispered, “I love you more than my life. Now close your eyes, sleep, and forget everything, my love.”
SuSu smiled, caressed Ye Hua’s face, closed her eyes and forgot everything.
to be continued………