The only sound in the hushed room was Ye Hua. His soft, even breathing filled the silenced space. After hours of bitter arguments and resentment fueled verbal battles. Finally, he fell asleep fatigued, exhausted and spent like a child. That’s exactly how he looked to Bai Qian. Like a sleeping boy.
Ye Hua’s relaxed face was innocent and calm. His youth was more apparent than ever as she stood at a far distance and watched him quietly. He was the beautiful child-like man that she once loved… loved but couldn’t forgive and Bai Qian felt as if she were drowning or perhaps more as if she were suffocating.
The aftereffect of their earlier fiery exchange ultimately overcame her, and Bai Qian wept silently in the furthest corner of her room. The things she said were hurtful and it was agony to hear his side after all those soundless years. In self-shame, she buried her face and lightly but firmly, repeatedly banged her head against the wall in the corner when she heard him, and Ye Hua was crying in his sleep.
Softly he wept in his un-restful slumber, “No SuSu! Don’t leave me. Please…” Ye Hua whimpered pitifully in his sleep.
Ye Hua cried and called her again, “SuSu…please…no… Don’t leave me behind. Forgive me…”
His grievous and sorrowful words triggered a waterfall of tears that suddenly blurred Bai Qian’s vision. It was an entirely spontaneous moment when she moved to soothe him. With shaking uncertain hands, she nervously reached for him but stopped mere inches short from touching his beautiful and boyish face.
Instantly, her open palm fisted and she pulled back deathly afraid. Bai Qian chastised herself. Had she lost her mind? What was she doing? She recoiled and rushed back into her distant corner like a frightened mouse.
She smothered her uncontrolled sobs by forcibly covering her mouth with her hand. The loss of strength in her legs caused her to slide weakly to the floor and bury her face into bent knees. Roughly she bit her sharp fang-like canine teeth into the fleshy inside of her palm, until she tasted her blood to keep from sobbing aloud but the tears…the tears were unending.
Playing without rules, noble intentions, and shame….
Ye Hua awoke unaware where he was and unsure how long he’d been asleep. He was in Qian Qian’s bed alone and she was in the remotest corner asleep sitting upright. Her head slumped over leaning into the wall, and it reminded him of how SuSu used to sleep at the table on Mount Junji.
Their heated rhetorical battle was painful, agony and he was ashamed of the hateful things he said to her. It was much more painful to hurt her than it was to be hurt by her. It was a low blow to attack her regarding A-Li and guilt washed over him. In all honesty, Ye Hua only wanted his family back.
He pondered why was it so difficult for them to just love each other? Why was there so much resentment and sorrow? He knew the answer better than anyone else. It was because he was too weak, too unknowing and Qian Qian was right to accuse him of being a weakling. Being called ‘Ye Hua the Doormat’ infuriated him but she was right because he failed her most heinously. He was drowning in self-pity when he heard her.
Qian Qian whimpered and mumbled in her sleep, “Zhe Yan, I didn’t drink all the wine…you always blame me for everything.” Ye Hua chuckled even though he was crying.
“Shifu…” She called out to her secret fiance and Ye Hua closed his eyes shut-tight because it felt as if a dagger pierced his heart. It was Mo Yuan of who she was dreaming. Mo Yuan…her secret future husband.
It hit him like a sharp slap across his face, Qian Qian was engaged to marry his older and completely intimidating twin brother. High God Mo Yuan, God of War. She’d given her beautiful body, her pure and sacred innocence to his twin because he was stronger more influential than Ye Hua. Mo Yuan would always have that over him, and tears of defeat ran down Ye Hua’s face as he considered perhaps it was best. It made his heart ache as he considered she was the safest being with Mo Yuan but why couldn’t he let go?
Mo Yuan was the Warrior God who answered to no one and could do as he pleased. He’d helped himself to Ye Hua’s wife’s body and it would be Mo Yuan that would impregnate his Qian Qian. It was a saddening fact but for all Ye Hua knew, she could be carrying Mo Yuan’s child already.
Ye Hua was drowning in self-torture when her faint whimper broke through his mental torment. She sighed and groaned due to the discomfort of sleeping on the floor. It wasn’t right to leave Qian Qian sleeping on the hard, cold floor like that so he quickly gathered his composure and dressed quietly. Gently so not to wake her, he lifted and carried her to bed. Unable to stop himself, he reached out and caressed her soft, rosy cheek. Only when she slept would she ever allow him to touch her.
He laughed and the mocking laughter was at himself. Ye Hua boldly stated she would beg for him but who was he fooling? Staring at her sleeping face, he knew Qian Qian would never allow him into her bed. Only in his dreams would he be in her wet core. The heart of her femininity ever again. The heavenly place that once belonged only to him, but now he knew he was completely unworthy of such exquisite bliss. The dark feeling was one of pure failure and utter despair when he heard hope whispered most unexpectedly.
“Ye Hua…come to bed, my love.” In her most profound relaxed slumber, Qian Qian whispered smiling and the expression on her happy face was real. She grabbed his hand, pulled it to her heart and continued to dream.
Through the flat surface of his open palm placed lightly over her breast, Ye Hua distinctly felt her even paced thumping, and beating heart and felt happy. What was he thinking? How could he even consider letting her go when she was beckoning him in her sleep? He knew he never would, never could release her, especially when she called him her love and asked him to come to bed.
The moment of happiness was brief. For a fraction of a second, Ye Hua’s heart suddenly felt fuller, lighter but the moment was fleeting before a bitter dose of reality finally sank in. Certainty came when he was pulling his hand back to move Qian Qian’s long, wild hair off her sleeping face when the distinctly dark color caught his eyes.
On her smooth, even, ivory-toned neck a dark, reddish, bruise-like somewhat round marking. It was the size of…he gasped from the stabbing pain of confirmation that took his breath away.
It was definitely the same and exact dimension of someone’s open mouth. Ye Hua couldn’t dispute the fact it was unquestionably a ‘Hickie’ also known as a love bite and there were more than one. There were several and they traversed down her body and disappeared into the bust line of her flowing dress. A soundless warning and message of ownership from his older twin brother Mo Yuan, that Qian Qian’s body now belonged to him. That he was the new man in her life.
Seeing such indisputable evidence of Qian Qian and Mo Yuan’s intimacy winded him completely. Ye Hua sucked in air sharply because he realized that, he was an amateur bluffing with a losing hand against a champion with a natural royal flush. However, his utter despair and desperation caused something inside him to snap as all of his nervousness, intimidation and fears vanished quite suddenly.
Until that moment, Ye Hua was merely pretending. His ‘fake it until you made it’ strategy was useful but now he realized there was nothing more to lose and speedily all his doubts, fears and every hesitation disappeared into thin air. He decided to modify and change his game.
Ye Hua determined he wouldn’t take any prisoners, furthermore, he would engage to play without rules, noble intentions, and shame. While trying to win Qian Qian back, he would execute to succeed even if it meant destroying his twin brother because in the end, losing her was entirely and ultimately more frightening than succumbing to Mo Yuan.
To be continued…