Bai Qian~
Between Heaven and Earth, I never expected to find a place of solace in the Demon Realm. Surprisingly, it is there that I feel most at peace these days. What’s even more unexpected is that instead of turning to Ye Hua or family, the person I find myself seeking company with is none other than Ghost Lord Li Peng, the younger brother of my first love.
“I was hoping for your company today. Qian Qian, care for some wine?” Ghost Lord Li Peng greets me in an informal and friendly manner, as though we have known each other for a lifetime, and it does feel that way. He playfully waves a wine bottle in the air, tempting me with the very thing I crave—losing myself in intoxication.
“This is a special blend of my secret creation – the Heavenly Cloud of Gu. It’s made with Gu and the five poisons for my favorite Gugu. But tonight, remember to drink in moderation, unless you want to end up dead again. I wouldn’t want to wait another fifty thousand years for my drinking friend to return, all while hiding from your terrifying children who would skin me alive for eternity.” With a mischievous smile, he takes a hearty sip directly from the bottle. “Shall we find a secluded spot away from everyone, especially my jiejie and brother-in-law, and just let loose and be ourselves?”
My first encounter with Li Peng was a few weeks earlier during a visit with Zi Lan, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Initially, I mistook him for Li Jing and thought I had seen a ghost. Like many others, I was unaware that Qing Cang had a third son, only a few years younger than Li Jing. Because of a weak constitution at birth, third prince Li Peng had been concealed for most of his life to avoid bringing humiliation to his vicious father. He has never married, being unable to sire children. It was only forty thousand years ago, while I was dead, that his existence was revealed, with Ye Hua out of all people being the one to discover him. The Celestials were in search of a Ghost Lord who wouldn’t disrupt the political balance, and Demon Princess Yan Zhi’s first son was too young, but Li Peng, the quiet monarch who despised war and violence, met their requirements.
My connection with Li Peng was instantaneous. I relish his company and friendship. Our conversations flow effortlessly, free from judgment. Li Peng doesn’t pry into my thoughts or feelings unless I initiate the discussion, which I usually don’t. His audacious and candid humor, even joking about my death, Bai Lianhua’s hostility towards me, and the battle with Xuan Nu, uplifts me during difficult times. There’s just enough flirtation from him to keep things playful. We both share a passion for fine wine, and when we indulge, we enjoy reminiscing about the past, particularly the heroic rescue of my Kunlun brother Ling Yu and me by our Shifu. Little did we know, Li Peng, then a teenager like me, was secretly watching the entire rescue from his bed chamber where he was confined.
With a gracious smile on my face, I nod my head and eagerly take the wine bottle from him. “Just what I had in mind. Let us drink and forget who we are, but first about tomorrow…”
“Oh yes, at the Peach Festival, where I’ll be most attentive to you without being overly attentive. That was your request, right? Shall we coordinate our attire? Nothing screams couple more than matching colors,” he suggests, winking and playfully forming heart shapes with his thumb and index fingers.
Walking toward the pond Li Jing threw me into, Li Peng suggests a toast and asks me to join him. “To Princess Changying. Let us wish Princess Changying a safe and short mortal trial where she never discovers you went behind her back and arranged for her to spend her entire mortal life in a nunnery far from any calamity.”
I can’t help but chuckle as I remember my afternoon spent with Star Lord Si Ming, the writer of human fates. Convincing him to share and alter Ying’er’s trial was a challenging task, and now I find myself deeply indebted to him.
“To my beloved daughter, who will live an uneventful life, then die as a virgin in a nunnery before returning to me.” I lift my bottle in a toast and drink deep.
A honeyed sweetness, surprisingly strong, hits me with the first sip, the thick liquid filling my mouth with a medicinal scent. The wine’s dark, malt syrup-like hue washes over my tongue, creating a warm tingle. A wave of giddiness washes over me, making me feel light and carefree as I smack my lips. Despite being in a grassy area by the mill pond, I feel like I’m on a small boat swaying with my intoxicated happiness, enveloped in a haze like a billowing cloud and craving more.
“Another bottle, please,” I request, slurring, unable to resist the candy-like sweetness lingering on my lips, but he warns me to slow down. He tells me it’s a venom-based alcohol that will cause hallucinations if consumed too quickly.
Li Peng’s voice has unusual clarity, but it also echoes distantly, like I’m deep within a canyon. Between sips of wine, he poses a thought-provoking question, “Qian Qian, does your wine taste sweet or unpleasant?” Li Peng goes on to explain that the flavor of the liquor varies for each individual. He shares. “The more bitter your life, the sweeter the wine.” Moreover, he draws a poignant parallel between drinking to forget a loved one and the surreal experience of this drink that causes one to hallucinate until that very person appears before you.”
Li Peng likens the experience to the bittersweet effects of life itself.
I’m unsteadier than I should be, as I have yet to recover fully from my resurrection, but all I can do is giggle, and the sound of my laughter is like chimes ringing like a never-ending bell. The wine is already taking full effect, and I feel as if I’ve been drinking for days, yet every sip makes me want another and another after that. I quickly, too quickly, empty the bottle, uncontrollably giggling as my surroundings begin to swirl and distort. I lean into Li Peng for support, although he’s not steady himself, his body feeling like a warm rock against the chilliness in the air that makes me shiver.
“My brother-in-law, Zi Lan, made you sound like the four-headed beast formed by the Heavenly Creator. I always believed you were the best drinker on Kunlun, but now I wonder what kind of amateur you are.”
He continues. “The liquor is supposed to heighten your senses, not dull them. You should have sipped it slowly and savored the moment.”
“But now,” Li Peng said, “you’ll see what—or who—you truly long for, what you can never have. It’s not real, just a vision… but perhaps a bittersweet reunion awaits you, my dear Qian Qian.”
Though I know it’s only a hallucination and Li Peng is next to me, when my blurry vision clears, I’m not astonished by who I see. Of course, who else would it be? I see my… no, he’s not mine anymore, but I see Bai Lianhua’s husband Ye Hua seated in front of me.”
Bai Lianhua~
My mother cautioned me against hating or resenting the High Goddess, as she believes it is akin to hating myself. She also believes that I am not dying but returning. She explains that the shard of Bai Qian’s soul within me is on a journey to reunite and become whole again.
It feels peculiar to perceive myself as just a fragment when I am as complete as Bai Qian herself. I am reluctant and most bitter to leave behind Ye Hua and our children. Despite my mother’s view that I am fortunate to have served the High Goddess by serving Ye Hua until her return, I disagree. She thinks anyone, including herself, would have eagerly taken my place and felt honored to be chosen like I was. However, my virgin mother fails to grasp the true depth of my love for Ye Hua. She cannot comprehend my grief, as she has never experienced the euphoria of being his wife and the joy of giving birth to his children like I have.
Bai Qian, the High Goddess, is as breathtakingly beautiful, graceful, and alluring as everyone claims. But to me, beneath that captivating exterior lies a predatory thief, already plundering my possessions before I’ve even breathed my last.
The older children’s footsteps are less frequent now. The boys, A-li and Yingpei, don’t call me mother anymore. The immortals no longer address me as Gugu, High Goddess, and Ye Hua. Even though he pretends that everything is the same, I can sense the change in his eyes. It might be my imagination, but even the soft touch of his hand feels distant at times, as if a shadow of doubt has settled between us. In the silence of our intimate moments, I can almost hear the echoes of her presence, a ghostly presence haunting our every kiss, every touch. Then I ponder. I wonder if he’s thinking of her. I’m consumed by rage at the thought of Ye Hua silently counting down to the second he replaces me with her.
Therefore, I’m compelled to despise her, and until my last breath, I’ll prevent her reunion with Ye Hua, even if he comes to despise me as I do, Bai Qian.
“Ye Hua, why don’t you wear your hair down today for the Peach Festival? Just like how it was when we first met. You looked so handsome back then, and you still do.” I softly run my fingertip over his lips, the lips that I can never seem to get enough of, and lean into him, nuzzling his neck. Gently rubbing his member over his clothes, I whimper and playfully pout in his ear. However, he reminds me that we are running out of time as guests have already started arriving, promising to make it up to me in the evening.
“Let’s make it quick, then. You can start by kissing me down there, and it won’t take long,” I whisper seductively, my lips brushing against his ear. “We don’t even need to undress.” Sliding my hand inside his pants, I feel the softness of his skin as he slowly grows in my grasp. He has never turned me down before, and today is no exception.
When his mouth finds mine, my tongue parts his lips as he pulls up the skirt of my dress. My hands tremble with pure possessiveness, and I pull his pants down, exposing him while he lowers himself to his knees. He quickly brings me to climax and himself, without ejaculating inside me for fear of impregnating me. However, he doesn’t realize my alternative motive for my sudden amorous behavior and how he is now covered in the scent of my passion, a distinct scent that someone with an acute sense of smell like the Fox Empress will undoubtedly notice.
Changying~
Star Lord Si Ming greets Ruilin and me, saying, “Princess Changying, it’s time. Empress Bai Qian wanted to be with you when you drank the water of forgetfulness.”
I replied, “Naturally, I’ll find Mother,” noticing Ruilin frowning beside me, clearly upset about my departure.
As I have never dealt with men or romance, I struggle in such awkward situations. Since he gifted me recently, I have a gift of ninety paper cranes, for each day I might be gone, each with a message inside that I folded for him, but I feel shy giving it to him in front of others, especially my siblings, who have been observing us with great interest and making gestures behind his back all afternoon. It’s surprising how my grown siblings can act like teenagers.
I discreetly signal for him to follow me away from the crowd, heading towards the one place where we can have privacy amidst the bustling crowds. Lord Lingbao’s Heavenly Eye Spring provides enough seclusion for us to exchange our last words before my departure. However, it appears I’m not the only one with this idea, as I hear low voices – those of my father and mother.
Father’s annoyed voice, demanding why Ghost Lord Li Peng is calling mother “Qian Qian” while he can’t and his desire to talk, cuts through, followed by Mother’s soft but strained response, “We will talk, but not here and not today.”
The tension is palpable as I hold my breath, sensing Ruilin’s discomfort and nervousness next to me. I can almost taste the awkwardness in the air. Just as I think the conversation is over, Father’s voice erupts with jealous resentment, making me flinch. “Are you sleeping with him?”
Mother’s sharp reply, filled with defiance, “You can’t ask me such things,” heats the atmosphere as their argument escalates.
“I am telling you not to. Just don’t do it, Qian Qian!” Father commands, while Mother retorts, “Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because I can’t stand the thought of anyone touching you!” Father replies. Mother counters in a hiss, “The man reeking the scent of his wife and sex should not be making such remarks. Ye Hua, you have Bai Lianhua. You have SuSu back, so be content and don’t worry about who is in my bed or not…”
Ruilin’s nervous, loud hiccup interrupts and silences them instantly. My face burns with mortification. Discomposure taking place of my collectiveness, I turn to Ruilin and say, “Are you sure you want to marry into this crazy family? You can still back out of the marriage agreement if you choose. I won’t blame you.”
I wish I could give Ruilin water of forgetfulness so he could forget what he just experienced. Feeling like burying my head in the sand or hiding in a hole somewhere, but finding it touching when Ruilin gently squeezes my hand and says, “Yes, now more than ever. Your family is hot and passionate, and we Phoenixes are fire creatures. I won’t tell anyone what we heard. It will be our secret between husband and wife in three months, that is. I wish you hadn’t rushed your trial and waited until after we married.”
“I’m in a hurry because I need to be here when Bai Lianhua gets sicker. We don’t know how her death will impact everyone, and they will need me. If I take my trial earlier, I’ll be back in time for everyone,” I told Ruilin.
Little did I know that I would be away for years instead of months. During that time, Bai Lianhua would pass away, and when she did, my mother slipped into a coma for two years.