Si Yin
Shao Qing Yuan-
The siblings were so close in age that some people mistook them for twins.
Prime Minister Shao’s eldest child, Shao Qing Yuan, and his younger sister, Consort Shao Wan, had a mere three-month age difference. Unfortunately, Qing Yuan’s mother, Minister Shao’s first and legitimate wife, passed away days after giving birth. When he was only three months old, his recently widowed father promoted his second wife, a concubine, to the position of his new legal wife, granting both siblings equal status.
However, their treatment was far from equal.
Qing Yuan’s childhood was defined by a constant sense of loneliness and a deep longing for his mother’s love. While his sister received gentle caresses and loving words from their parents, he often felt invisible, relegated to the sidelines. His stepmother’s lack of affection only intensified his doubts about his place in the family, leaving him with a persistent feeling of being an outsider.
It was detrimental to his adolescence.
The absence of emotional connection with his father further burdened him with guilt and a sense of responsibility for his mother’s tragic fate. Each birthday served as a painful reminder of his loss, making it impossible for Qing Yuan to celebrate his own existence. It felt like a cruel irony that his birth was intertwined with the loss of his mother. The lack of love and acceptance in his life led him to harbor unexpressed affection, which he poured into his younger sister.
She was favored. Despite being the preferred child among their parents, he never felt envious of his sister. Shao Wan was born with a striking beauty that could not be denied by anyone. Wherever she went, people couldn’t help but stare at her in envy and admiration, for she was like a sunflower standing out amidst a field of wheat. She had a charisma that drew others to her, much like moths were attracted to a flame. As they grew older, Qing Yuan took pride in watching his sister effortlessly captivate those around her.
He never fought for attention. Rather than vie for the spotlight, it was easier for him to act aloof, even foolish, and accommodating rather than reveal his high intelligence or sensitivity. It wasn’t a conscious choice he made, but he didn’t mind not being the center of everyone’s focus. He preferred to let his sibling, Shao Wan, bask in the spotlight while he remained in her shadow because he loved her. This was his life, and it was far from perfect, but at least it was uncomplicated.
Being the firstborn son and inheritor of his father’s immense wealth, Qing Yuan seemed destined for a life of opulence and ease, devoid of any need to work. One would have anticipated him to display the typical demeanor of a privileged young lord, yet Qing Yuan pleasantly surprised everyone by staying humble and down-to-earth. He tirelessly sought his father’s validation, idolizing him as the embodiment of triumph. He saw his father’s ambition as admirable, believing that everything he did was for the benefit of their family. Even when his father revealed his grandiose desire for his sister to become the future empress and her child to become emperor, Qing Yuan saw it as an example of dreaming big and being determined. But as his father’s actions grew more extreme in pursuit of this goal, Qing Yuan saw him in a different light – no longer a hero, but a fallen man.
It happened when he was ten. Qing Yuan had lacked understanding and interest in intricate political matters. His innocent child’s gaze failed to grasp the gravity of the situation unfolding around him. He witnessed his father meeting a menacing individual distinguished by a scar above his eyebrow and discussing removing Princess Yuili, yet it left him unaffected. Unaware of the true implications of the conversation he overheard, he didn’t even bat an eye. It was only when the young girl was kidnapped and murdered that the harsh reality struck Qing Yuan. He came to realize that his father was responsible for the demise of Grand General Bai’s beloved daughter. This revelation transformed him into an unwitting accomplice, burdened by the knowledge of the sinister plot yet had failed to intervene. The aftermath proved unbearable. The weight of shame was like a thousand boulders crushing down on his small shoulders, and the innocence in his gaze shattered like glass, revealing the broken pieces of his once-idealized dreams of becoming just like his father.
Qing Yuan’s once idealized image of his noble family vanished. He found himself standing face-to-face, staring into the true monstrous faces of every member. Their true identities as criminal collaborators and sinners were unveiled before him. The father he once admired became unbearable to look at after committing such a heinous act against an innocent child. All he saw was a vicious man with blood on his hands. His stepmother, who celebrated his father’s dark victory, was guilty in his eyes, a demon in her own right. Even his beloved younger sister, whom he had cherished, became someone he couldn’t bear to see. She was conscious that their father’s actions benefited her the most, and her reaction to the news of the little princess’ death was one of pure delight and euphoria. Realizing that she was heartless, wicked, and selfish, lacking any sense of moral or human decency, he couldn’t help but feel ashamed that they shared the same blood running through their veins. This connection brought upon Qing Yuan a deep sense of disgust, inner confusion, and self-loathing.
His entire world had changed. He couldn’t return to his old life; everything he once knew, everything he once believed to be truth, lay in ruins. Qing Yuan felt hopeless and overwhelmed, unable to bear the heaviness of his shattered reality. The thought of ending his own life crossed his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to make his mother’s death worthless, since her life was a sacrifice for him. Instead, he fled from home, desperate to escape the darkness and violence that had consumed his family. It was a hard decision for a ten-year-old boy, but he was determined to find some sense of peace and normalcy somewhere else.
Throughout a year, Qing Yuan made numerous attempts to escape from his family, each time concocting a fresh plan. Occasionally, he would slip away discreetly under the veil of darkness, while other times, he would patiently await his family’s absence or distraction. With every endeavor, he yearned for it to be his last escape. Yet, without fail, his father relentlessly tracked him down and brought him back home, subjecting him to days of imprisonment in his own room, as if he were a criminal. Even in public, he was incessantly monitored by his father’s guards, making him feel like a captive trapped in his own life.
He wasn’t the only one trapped in despair. His stepmother, driven by a desperate need to preserve their family’s reputation and silence the whispers that surrounded them, resorted to extreme measures to prevent Qing Yuan from leaving again, even going so far as to have a guard break his leg. But nothing could extinguish Qing Yuan’s unwavering determination to escape from his toxic family. He simply couldn’t bear their presence any longer, tormented not only by their treatment towards him but more by the agony inflicted upon Princess Yuili. After countless unsuccessful attempts, Qing Yuan’s maternal grandfather finally stepped in to intervene.
Imperial teacher Zhao, Qing Yuan’s grandfather, was highly respected for his service as a teacher to the emperor and later, shifu to the Crown Prince. After dedicating over thirty years to the royal family, he had earned enough merits to make requests of the emperor. One of these requests was for his grandson to be raised away from the negative influence of his father. The emperor granted this request without hesitation, causing distress and damaging Prime Minister Shao, Qing Yuan’s father’s reputation. Despite Shao’s attempts to discredit and intimidate his former father-in-law, Qing Yuan’s grandfather remained steadfast in his beliefs. He saw through Shao’s manipulations and lies about his own son, knowing that Qing Yuan was not the troublesome or attention-seeking teenager Shao claimed him to be. In fact, Qing Yuan took after his mother – kind and gentle. He didn’t have a single malicious bone in his body, but he was starved, deprived of love and support. It wasn’t until he was under his grandfather’s care that he finally received the love and affection he deserved all along.
His grandfather changed the boy’s fate. Qing Yuan had no obligation to return to his father’s home, and he never looked back. Qing Yuan confided in his grandfather alone about his family’s secret shame. He remained unwavering in his loyalty towards his grandfather, cutting off all ties with his father’s household and established a new family with the servants of the Zhao Family. It was through his grandfather that he found Jinghua, the brother he had never had. When his grandfather passed away, many expected him to return to his father’s side and inherit the family’s wealth, since his father had yet to have another son. However, they failed to comprehend the immeasurable love and wisdom Qing Yuan had gained from his grandfather, which held priceless value to him more than all the gold in the world. Instead, he assumed the role of the household’s head and made the Zhao mansion his permanent abode. Now, it was this very home he anxiously paced within the familiar walls, like a man eagerly awaited his first child.
“This is a terrible idea.“ Qing Yuan scolded Jinghua. “You should have refused her,” he said, pausing his pacing. “It’s not appropriate for Meihua to go to the Hall Of Eternal Spring. That place is meant for men and their desires. I don’t understand your thought process, Jinghua.”
Jinghua sat unperturbed by his friend’s spiel, eyes closed, rocking in a chair leisurely. Meihua was changing into Qing Yuan’s old clothes in the room nearby. Jinghua replied, “But you go there all the time, Qing Yuan.” Qing Yuan blurted, “It’s different. I’m a man!” He lowered his voice to a strained whisper. “A pleasure house is not for someone like Meihua. You should have been the voice of reason. I’m disappointed that you’re giving in to her request. Does she even know what kind of place it is? Why in the world would she want to go there?”
Meihua’s girlish voice echoed from the doorway as she stood there, dressed as a man. “I know what this place is. It’s a brothel, but I’m going to look for my sister. I’m sure you’re curious about why she’s there, but I won’t answer questions.”
Qing Yuan and Jinghua exchanged a glance, both surprised by Meihua’s boldness. Qing Yuan took a step forward, his expression stern. “You do realize the consequences of entering a brothel? If discovered, your reputation will be forever tarnished and if you want to marry….” he said in a low voice. “You must reconsider. Jinghua and I will go without you. If you tell us what your sister looks like and her name, we will surely find her if she’s there.”
Meihua stood her ground firmly, her determination unwavering. “I am but a humble servant with no reputation to uphold, and I have no intentions of getting married. My sole focus is finding my sister and ensuring her safety. I appreciate your concern, but it is my duty alone to bring her back home,” she declared with conviction. Her words conveyed her strong-will, causing both Qing Yuan and Jinghua to yield. They ceased their attempts to dissuade her and instead offered their assistance. Their attention turning to Meihua’s appearance, noticing the subtle hints of femininity beneath her disguise as a man in loose attire. Her long hair was neatly tied up in a topknot, accentuating her beautiful features. Despite her masculine attire, her true essence remained undeniable.
Qing Yuan circled her with a critical eye. “This won’t work. How many men do you know who look like this?” He pointed out, examining Meihua’s appearance. “And this coat is the smallest size we have, yet it swallows her whole. No one will believe this disguise.” He roughly grabbed Meihua’s belt and pulled her towards him, causing her to stumble forward and into him.
He had been sitting in silence when suddenly Jinghua leapt up and growled, stepping between Meihui and Qing Yuan to block him. He knocked Qing Yuan’s hand away when he reached out to adjust Meihua’s robe. “Use your words. Don’t touch her. Just tell me what needs adjusting, and I’ll do it,” Jinghua spoke with more bite in his tone. Qing Yuan stared at his friend, puzzled by Jinghua’s sudden behavior. “Hey, why can you touch her but I can’t? This is my house, and she’s wearing my clothes. Jinghua, why are you acting so strangely?” Qing Yuan asked, watching as Jinghua’s eyes narrowed into slits. Jinghua responded, “Well, it’s because she’s my pretend lover, not yours. Besides, it’s not proper for a young woman to be handled by a bunch of men.” Qing Yuan burst out laughing. “A bunch of men?! It’s just me! And who are you pretending for when it’s just the three of us here? Could it be, Jinghua, that you’re jealous? I think you’re jealous and being possessive of Meihua.” Jinghua’s eyes widened, his mouth gaping in disbelief. “Me, jealous?!” he blurted out, his words sounding more like a series of hiccups than a coherent sentence.
“It’s alright, Prince Jinghua. I don’t have any objections if Qing Yuan assists me. I feel comfortable with him touching me. We’re friends.” She stated, prompting both men to respond simultaneously. Smirking, Qing Yuan turned towards Jinghua and taunted, “Did you hear that? She and I are friends. I have permission to touch her, too.” Shocked, Jinghua turned to Meihua and exclaimed, “Meihua!? I thought you would back me on this one.”
Qing Yuan sidestepped Jinghua, his smirk widening as Jinghua’s lips formed a tense, tight line before his expression turned serious. “Meihua, you should always stay close to us. Never wander off alone. It’s not safe for you to be by yourself in a place like that. Even if you see your sister, you mustn’t leave our side. And if you have your fan, keep it open and use it to hide your face. You’re too beautiful to pass as a man. I’m still against this terrible idea, but if you insist on going, you need a manly name? What should we call you tonight?”
Meihua replied, opening her fan and tapping the tip of her nose. “Si Yin. Tonight my name is Si Yin.”
With Meihua posing as a man, the trio left the Zhao Mansion and climbed into a sedan, making their way towards the Hall Of Eternal Spring. Lanterns illuminated their path with a gentle, yellow radiance as a soft drizzle started to descend, shrouding the streets in a hazy mist.
Jingyuan-
“Crown Prince Consort Shao is outside waiting to see you.” My eunuch declares, holding his hands inside the belled sleeves of his robe. “Tell her I’m busy.” I say as I pause for a moment before returning to the documents on my desk.
With any other servant, the conversation would have ended here, but Eunuch Bo isn’t any servant. I grant him privileges since he’s been serving me since we were children and he knows this as he continues the conversation I believed to be over. “Crown Prince, it’s starting to rain, and she’s been kneeling for over an hour. It would be terrible if she caught a cold.”
Consort Shao, my Consort Shao, is the only woman who would dare to barge into my office after I’ve forbidden her to leave her residence. I try to treat all my wives the same, but with her, it’s impossible. She holds considerable influence within the palace. Though I was initially hesitant, I think dismissing her too hastily could cause more aggravation than I’d like. With a reluctant gesture, I signal Eunuch Bo to grant her entry.
As Eunuch Bo steps aside, Consort Shao gracefully enters, her steps barely making a sound on the marble floors. I rise from my seat and offer a respectful nod as a sign of acknowledgment while she greets me on ceremony. “Consort Shao greets the Crown Prince.”
“Consort,” I say, my voice measured and controlled. “What brings you here today?”
A single glistening tear runs down her cheeks as she lowers her gaze, a subtle gesture of humility, kneeling before me, speaking softly, “Crown Prince, I’ve come to apologize for being impertinent and disrespectful. I know I was wrong. That’s all I wanted to say. I don’t deserve anymore of your time.”
The rhythmic patter on the roof is the only sound that fills the space between us as the rain falls outside. I should send her away, but I’m torn as I witness her single tear transforming into a torrent of emotions. Despite my disdain for female manipulative tactics, I can’t help but succumb to the vulnerability of a weeping woman.
“Shhh. There isn’t any need for tears.” I kneel, crouching beside her, and wipe her tears with the back of my hand. She grabs my hand with hers, turning her wet face to me, whimpering like a child, “You must forgive me. I can’t help myself sometimes.” She pulls my hand to her cheek, pressing it to her skin. “I’ve loved you as long as I can remember and sometimes it’s hard for me to share. I can’t help that I love you as much as I do.”
I’m not an emotionless rock. My heart softens a little and I can feel the corners of my lips curl slightly, the closest thing to a smile I can manage. I cup her face and brush my lips against hers. This simple gesture seems to have appeased her because she smiles at me, her eyes twinkling, as if the sun has replaced the rain. She whispers, “Do you forgive me?”
I reply, “There isn’t anything to forgive. You’ll always be in my heart.”
She leans forward, her face just inches away from mine, and asks, “Will you allow me to serve you?”
“Don’t be silly. Get up and we’ll have tea and enjoy the rain.” My hands drop from her face and I step away, standing up as she presses her face into my upper thighs.
“Please. Please.” Her voice is muffled as her arms wrap around my legs. “I want to give you pleasure.”
It’s pointless to resist. It would be foolish of me to reject her, and my body reacts involuntarily as my arousal becomes clear against her face. She’s well aware of her impact, and a mischievous smile forms on the corners of her lips. Rising to her feet, she unfastens the buttons on my robe, a habit of biting her bottom lip when she’s excited. Our eyes remain locked as she reaches inside my robe, her fingers delicately stroking the length of my desire. In a hushed whisper, she confesses, “The thought of Eunuch Bo standing just a few feet away excites me.”
My breath catches in my throat. “Consort Shao!” I ask her. “What has gotten into you today?”
“Nothing yet, but the night’s early.” She says as she slides my robe off, allowing it to fall to the ground. “Let me taste you.” She says, as she pushes me back against the edge of my desk.
As I perch on the edge of the table, she gracefully kneels in front of me, deftly unfastening my pants and clutching my erect member with her petite hand. Bringing me closer to her face, she breathes in my scent, a soft moan escaping her lips. She envelops my arousal with her soft lips, tracing her tongue along the length of my shaft.
I look down. The sight of her full lips wrapped around my shaft makes me even harder. She bobs her head, her tongue teasing the ridged underside of my cock, as she moans and groans, her lips vibrating. It’s a delicious sensation, and I groan in appreciation. She momentarily pauses, moistening her lips before saying, “Always remember, I’m here to serve you. I sole hope is to bring you pleasure.” She resumes her oral stimulation, clutching the base of my manhood with one hand while gently caressing and squeezing my testicles with the other. With each motion, she takes me deeper and deeper into her mouth, until the tip reaches the back of her throat. Unyielding, she continues, engulfing half of my length, accommodating every inch she can handle.
She is in a rare form today. This level of lustfulness is not her usual, but it’s exactly what I need.
I quickly remove her from my lap, causing a string of saliva from her mouth to trickle down my leg. With a firm grip, I push her body against the desk, eliciting a pleasurable moan from her. Raising her dress, I smoothly pull down her undergarments, exposing her eager anticipation. Sliding two fingers between her folds, I discover she is incredibly wet, her arousal dampening the top of her thighs. The moment my finger brushes against her clit, her entire body trembles with pleasure. “Please, Crown Prince,” she pleads for me to take her.
I press my member against her entrance and, with a single swift motion, I slide deep inside her. She’s wet and slippery, her warm and moist walls accommodating most of my size. She tightens around me, causing me to groan in pleasure. The sensation is so intense that I struggle to hold back from climaxing. But I can’t resist any longer. I thrust my hips, driving myself deeper into her. She lifts her hips, giving me the perfect angle for even deeper penetration. Waves of pleasure consume me as I continue to thrust into her. However, amidst this bliss, I catch glimpses of another woman’s face in my head. I shake my head to clear my mind and focus on the present. There’s no need to think of anyone else. I remind myself that I’m making love to Shao Wan, and I increase the intensity of my thrusts.
She moans with pleasure. I can sense her nearing climax. Her body quivers beneath me, groaning as she tightens around me. “Please, fill me,” she cries out, reaching her peak, her whole body trembling. Although my eyes are wide open and I’m staring at Consort Shao, I can’t help but see the face of my future concubine, which unexpectedly heightens my arousal. Imagining our first night together fills me with unexpected anticipation. It makes my body tenses, and my desire intensifies as I reach the pinnacle of pleasure climaxing harder than usual. “Oh, my God,” I mutter, my thoughts racing, as I withdraw from her while still maintaining my erection. I lean against her, feeling spent. Her body trembles beneath mine, and I hold her tightly, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her neck, gently kissing and nuzzling her. “Does this mean you forgive me and I’m back on rotation?” she asks, seeking clarification.
“I forgive you and yes, you’re no longer restricted,” I whisper, kissing her once more, this time with a deeper passion. Should I feel guilty for thinking about another woman? Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe I don’t care.