The Prince, His Wife and His Lover
Lady Min-
I didn’t have a choice in whom I married. Few girls do, but I was told that I was one of the lucky ones.
My family was over the moon and elated over their immense boon. My father hosted a month long banquet and handsomely rewarded those who attended to offer their well wishes. Marrying into the royal family was a great honor by everyone. Prince Jinghua was to be my future husband.
He had a reputation for being intelligent and was the emperor’s favorite son. There were whispers he should be the next emperor, but I was too immature to think it odd when my parents kowtowed before me and I didn’t care about anything except his appearance.
There was a shroud of mystery around him. The Empress had forever shielded her twin sons. Instead of flaunting them like other consorts do with their children, she kept them hidden from the world like national treasures. The twins’ absence from banquets and public appearances led to endless rumors about them. Some declared they were ugly with buck teeth and unibrows, like my older brother. Others stated the twin brothers were said to be unusually short, like the performers in circuses, so I braced myself for the worst.
The day of my wedding, I wept beneath my red veil during the entire bowing and tea ceremonies and all the way to my new home. I was consumed by dread at the thought of spending my life with an ugly, short man. I sobbed even more, anticipating the moment he would lift my veil and uncover my face, and when it happened, I understood I WAS the girl with the greatest luck in the world.
The moment I first saw him is still vivid in my memory. It was an unforgettable moment because he made my heart skip a beat and my stomach flip-flopped like it was filled with one hundred dancing butterflies.
My husband was extremely handsome, even in his youth. During the early days of our marriage, I often watched him from the study’s doorway without him knowing. My yearning for him was insatiable, and it grew even stronger as he transformed into a magnificently desirable young man. He was and is still the one I am devoted to, however, as the years have gone by; I realized that his captivating exterior hides a complex and enigmatic and solitary soul.
Prince Jinghua dwells in a secluded realm where I am not welcome. He often gets lost in deep contemplation or engaged in matters of royalty. Despite my efforts, I haven’t been able to bridge the divide between us and understand him fully mentally, emotionally, especially sexually.
My mother told me to be patient. She claimed most young men became lustful because of hormones when they came of age. I didn’t know what age that would be. I waited for him to make the first move and when I grew tired of waiting; I laced his soup with an aphrodisiac to entice him into bed. My plan was a success. We consummated our marriage, but it ended in utter disappointment as I shook and sobbed throughout.
He wasn’t to blame.
He was tender, gentle and patient, but when he discovered I had drugged him, he didn’t scold or punish me, but never touched me again. It hasn’t helped matters since he is regularly absent from home, and when he is present, our limited conversations are brief and shallow as we speak of the weather and current happenings in the capital.
He hasn’t touched or consumed any of the food or teas I’ve prepared for him since the incident with the aphrodisiac. Our marriage has become a mere imitation of what I hoped and expected. I had desired to comprehend his innermost thoughts, to be included in his world, to become his emotional confidant, the mother of his children, but those lofty dreams feel like impossible and unreachable goals. And the more time that passes between us, the more I recognize the man I wedded ten years ago is more of a stranger than ever.
Despite pretending that it doesn’t bother me, the lack of affection between Prince Jinghua and me fills me with deep loneliness and isolation. My life is a beautiful deception, as I have successfully deceived others into believing that he is a caring and attentive husband. This is especially easy considering his rare presence, which prevents anyone from proving them wrong. People love fairy tales and remain oblivious to what truly happens behind the closed gates of our manor. They are unaware of how he avoids me and treats me with distant civility, just as he does with his princess sisters.
Whenever we do appear together in public, it is merely for the sake of playing our required roles. However, things could always be worse.
The capital is full of unhappy wives in the most respected houses. I can name a few dozen off the top of my head and many of my friends fall into that category. Some husbands are drunks who become cruel and physically abusive, and others can’t keep themselves out of the servant’s quarters, making it a hobby to impregnate as many maids as possible. I know of women who are forced to wear dresses from previous seasons because of their stingy husbands, so I would say compared to these wives, I’m fortunate.
He may not visit my bed. However, my husband has never had a wandering eye. He’s not warm or affection but he doesn’t deny me material pleasures. My manor and personal residence are adorned with the finest silks, exquisite red lacquer wood furniture, ceramics used by the royal family and lavish decorations from across the dynasty and distant lands he visits. My wardrobe overflows with new dresses, shoes and jewelry. I have a retinue of servants and musicians at my disposal, ready to fulfill my every whim. Prince Jinghua has made sure I lack nothing, ensuring I have access to the finest delicacies and clothing. His wording might have been cold, brisk and blunt, but he’s never humiliated me in public.
Until today. Today, he’s making a fool of me. He couldn’t have picked a worst time. It’s my birthday.
Visitors, musicians, and imperial delicacies overflow the garden pavilion. The number of guests is significantly higher than usual. The Palace gifts, wrapped beautifully, and the exquisite brocade silks have captured everyone’s attention as only a few fortunate individuals receive them. The noble houses have been unusually generous this year, and Grand Princess, as always, sent a variety of colorful packages. Her newest servant girl is sorting them into neat piles, while my introverted husband, who rarely leaves his study, is lurking nearby.
He shouldn’t be here. His disdain for these types of gatherings isn’t a secret. However, his dislike for crowds pales compared to his loathing of a group of gossiping women who stare at him with hopeful gazes, seeking opportunities and the garden is filled with such women, so I find myself perplexed as to why he has graced us with his presence.
“Greetings, your highness.” My greeting is echoed by everyone present. “Greetings Fourth Prince.” My bowing is copied, by the daughters and wives from various noble houses who hastily rise to their feet, eager not only to greet but see the mysterious man they’ve only heard of. I don’t even need to glance back to know the unmarried ones are fluttering their eyelashes, waving their fans, posturing suggestively, clearly seeking his attention, oblivious to the fact that he is as cold as an iceberg.
Prince Jinghua acknowledges everyone in his usual cold way, responding with a single nod, his face revealing his irritation and lack of interest in everything except Grand Princess’s maid.
“Have we been too loud? Forgive me if we’ve disturbed you with the noise.” I apologize. “I can send the musicians away.”
“No need. It’s your birthday.” He answers without even glancing my way, and I’m questioning his sanity.
Has he lost his mind? He doesn’t even pretend not to be fixated on the servant girl. He stares at her backside long enough others have noticed, ignoring me as if I’m invisible and not standing there. “Highness?” I whisper to get his attention and to stop making a scene. “Fourth Prince?” I raise my voice, speaking a tab bit louder and I finally have his attention.
“Find someone else to do that. Send her home.” He orders, and I’m bewildered why he would care. “Why would I do that? She’s a servant sent by Grand Princess. That’s her job.” I reply and he turns those cold and dark harsh eyes on me, but as frosty as his glare is, his tone is even colder. It has bite. “I’m-not-asking-for-your-permission.” I flinch as he enunciates every word, speaking to me as if I’m a simpleton. “Send her back to the Bai Manor now.”
I shake my head at him in astonishment, feeling confused. He is not the type to involve himself in such trivial matters. Despite my limited authority, I still hold the leading position of the madam in his household. However, I am well aware that my role will soon be replaced when he takes a primary wife. Rumors have reached my ears about his newfound love interest. According to those who saw them together at the Lantern festival, they claim she is a queen disguising her true identity.
Some even suggest that she is a reincarnation of the renowned beauty, Wang Zhaojun. While it may be acceptable for him to engage in a secret affair with a queen, how dare he desire a servant? It wounds my pride deeply. It appears that he has overlooked the fact that I, as the daughter of a duke and his sole wife, possess a higher social standing compared to a chambermaid born of common birth.
“Prince Jinghua’s sense of humor is extremely dry.” I declare, sounding light hearted and with a brightness in my voice. Although his temper scares me, my fear of what others will think is even greater. I gather my courage and lift the hem of my dress, commanding firmly, “Girl, follow me.” Guiding us through the grass, away from the party guests, I lead her to a secluded area. Without a word, she obediently follows, and we walk until we are far enough from the crowd. Finally, we stand face to face, locking eyes, and it feels as if time stands still.
I give her an once over scrutinizing her from head to toe. I finally understand why this servant has become the current topic of curiosity in the social circles I travel. Everyone wants to know more about her. She is the talk of the town. More so since many heard the Empress expressing she was to become Crown Prince Jingyuan’s next concubine. She has become their hope and the role model to every ambitious servant girl in the capital.
Some even call her Ye Xian. She is the protagonist in a servant to queen, rag to riches story. And judging by my usually apathetic husband’s odd behavior towards her, it appeared the Crown Prince isn’t the only one enchanted by her. Damn twins! Of course, they would covet the same woman.
Because of her height advantage, she stands above me, gazing downwards. I cannot deny the fact that she is incredibly beautiful, captivating enough both men and women alike might stare at her. With her long black hair reflecting light like wet ink on her porcelain skin, her warm mahogany eyes that draw you in, and her elegant, straight high-arched nose giving her a regal appearance, it’s hard to believe she is just a servant, especially with her sensuous mouth and slender yet feminine figure even in those ill-fitting clothes.
“Why are you not on your knees?” I ask, my voice assertive and filled with disdain. “Has your mistress not taught you how to greet a member of the royal family properly?” I glare at her, expecting her to bow and show submission.
To my surprise, she bows, but her shoulders remain square and high, and there isn’t an ounce of submission in her. Frustrated, I push her to the ground and forcefully kick her upper torso, hoping to assert my dominance. However, she doesn’t resist, nor does she try to protect herself or grovel for forgiveness like other servants might. Her pride provokes my growing contempt for her, mingled with a hint of self-hatred for my failure to entice Prince Jinghua as she apparently has.
Blinded by rage, I lean down, foamed spittle spraying from my mouth. My left hand trembles as I grab the collar of her dress, and my right hand reels back, delivering two powerful slaps to her face. She doesn’t beg me to stop, and it only fuels my frustration further.
“Get your damn hands off Meihua!” My husband roars like an angered tiger and pushes me to the ground while helping her to her feet.
Uncontainable giggles overcome me. “I see. It’s because she’s entering the imperial harem.”
I smile unnaturally broadly. I’ve never disputed or spoken back to him, but I need something more. I need validation, because I can’t believe this is Prince Jinghua, so I mock him, aiming for his source of insecurity. “Thank you, Fourth Prince, for correcting me. It seems I have overindulged in today’s festivities and forgotten my manners. It’s true one never knows the future. It might be us that’s doing the bowing when she births a prince.” I say and it appears my unfeeling husband isn’t the iceberg I believed him to be.
He’s human.
He’s furious, and he’s possessively jealous.
“Meihua isn’t entering the harem. I’ve taken her. She’s mine.” He jeers at me between clenched teeth and he breaks my heart into a million pieces.
I burst into another fit of uncontrollable laughter and shriek. “She is not yours! That servant belongs to the Crown Prince and when she enters the harem. She will get used by your big brother like the slut she is and his other women will make her life a living hell. She is a nobody and she will remain irrelevant.”
I rise to my feet. Tears of resentment and tears of sorrow blur my vision. “You’re a fool. How could you fall for a plaything your brother will discard? You could have had anyone!” I shout, no longer caring who hears me. I scramble to my feet, lunging at Meihua’s face with my pointy nail covers exposed.
“My husband yells, his voice like thunder, as he roars my name, ‘Min Qian Ju!'” A tempest has taken over where his face had been, and in his rage, he grabs me by the pearls around my neck, raising his fist in the air. But amidst the chaos, hysteria has taken over me, and I am not fazed.
I have nothing else to lose, and I am no longer afraid of him. How could he bed a lowly servant when I’m been waiting for him?!
“Get out of my house, you filthy whore!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “You are nothing but filthy slut!” She watches me with sympathy, and then, unexpectedly, she apologizes. In a soft whisper, she offers her regrets, addressing me as ‘your ladyship’ and acknowledging the pain she has caused, especially on my birthday. However, audaciously, she proceeds to educate me.
“I deeply regret hurting you, your ladyship, especially on your birthday,” she begins. “But if I may, allow me to enlighten you: the Emperor currently maintains a harem of five hundred and forty-seven women. However, at the peak of his fathering years, he had an astounding one thousand eight hundred and twenty-eight wives. Polygamy is an integral part of our world, and it is something that a noblewoman like you should come to accept and understand.”
With a graceful bow, she swiftly makes her way towards the manor’s entrance. The weight of her words is too much to handle, adding insult to injury. I cannot contain my anger any longer. “How dare you try to teach me when you’re a damn servant!” I screech, crawling on my knees behind her. “I’ll have you flogged to death!”
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Prince Jinghua growls at me, his black, churning eyes following Meihua. With desperation, I grab the bottom of his coat, disregarding the attention of onlookers. “Where are you going? Please don’t do this to me,” I cry out, but my pleas go unheard. Despite his attempt to leave, he stops abruptly when he realizes he’s unintentionally dragging me along. “Please, Jinghua, don’t do this!”
He spins around, and even before he utters a single word, I already expect his next sentence.
“You’ve left me no choice. Although I had initially planned to handle things differently after your ten years of service, you have forced my hand. I will request a divorce from the Royal father and take Meihua as my wife, my Princess Consort. She will accompany me when I depart from the capital. However, I will ensure you are provided for with a substantial stipend, relieving you of any financial concerns for the remainder of your life, and that will be the extent of my support for you.”
In a daze, I stared at him, my worst nightmare becoming a chilling reality. “You’re mad!” I screamed, disbelief and panic consuming me. “The Emperor would never accept a servant as your Princess Consort!”
Fearlessly, he responded with unwavering determination, “Then I will give up everything. My title, my name, they mean nothing without her. I will become a commoner. She is all I need.”
His words struck me like a thunderbolt, leaving me breathless. “I’ll kill myself!” I shrieked, desperate to make him understand the gravity of the situation. Meeting my gaze one last time, he uttered those chilling words, “Then die.”
Without another word, he raced in the direction Meihua had gone. My knees buckled beneath me, unable to bear the weight of the moment. Darkness enveloped my world, and I succumbed to it.
Jinghua-
“Meihua, stop!” I call out to her, fully aware that she hears me. However, she blatantly ignores my plea and instead increases her speed, sprinting away from me. Fortunately, her unfamiliarity with the layout of my manor works to my advantage as I manage to corner her.
She looks like a different person. There’s something foreign in her eyes. It’s not sadness, fear or offense. There’s wildness in her wide glassy eyes that reminds me of an untamed mare. “Meihua.” I gingerly reach to wipe the blood from her mouth, but she flinches and recoils away from me. She forces a smile, and it breaks my heart. It would have been better if she were crying. At least I would know how to comfort her, but she’s pushing me away and putting that wall back up between us.
“Fourth Prince, what is it? Do you need something else from me?” Her tone is painfully courteous and her smile if I didn’t know her better looks genuine and her eyes, they are the same beautiful almond shape as they were when I first met her, but now they are clouds. She’s incredibly skilled even better than me at hiding her emotion, but I am livid and can barely see straight.
“Don’t stand there with a smile on your face. Get angry. You should be angry. Let’s go back! You should have slapped her back! Why would you sit there and take such abuse?!”
Rapidly blinking, she shrugs her shoulders in indifference. “Why should I be angry? I’m not that shameless. Your wife said nothing that wasn’t true and servants get punished every day. Today was my day.”
“Then do it for me because I can’t take it.” I’m breathless because I’m hyperventilating, but she’s as calm as a still millpond. “Fourth Prince is too emotional. Please consider a soothing tea before bed. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back. Is there anything else for us to discuss, Your Highness?”
“You tell me.” I reach for her but again, she pulls away and speaks to me as she did when we first met before we became lovers, “Prince Jinghua. There’s nothing to discuss. I’m a servant and I was sent here to serve Lady Min, but I’ve ruined her celebration. I must return home and report my mistake to the Grand Princess. I’m sure I’ll get punished again.”
Meihua
I had always known that he was married, but actually meeting his wife in person was an entirely different experience. It made me feel guilty, and I can’t help but acknowledge that she has every reason to despise me. It was never how I had imagined our meeting would be. She was the first person to physically confront me, and I can’t blame her for putting me in my place, as I have always been aware that I am not on their level.
Nevertheless, I refuse to let anyone witness my downfall or see me shed a single tear. I won’t give them the satisfaction they desire. I am stronger than he realizes, and, to be honest, I expected nothing from Jinghua, even after our intimate encounter. Or was it even an intimate encounter? Looking back, I blame the rain for my moment of vulnerability. I won’t romanticize it; it was nothing more than a meaningless casual encounter.
“I’m sorry, but I need to get back. I still have chores at the manor and grand Princess won’t be pleased when she hears of what happened.” I speak, forcing myself to smile when my face is starting to hurt from smiling. “Please, Prince Jinghua,” I plead with him, trying to get past him, but he blocks me from taking a single step. He tenderly caresses my cheek and says, “You need to treat you mouth but hug me once. I know you’re strong enough to endure anything, but I can’t say the same for me. I need a hug to put my heart at ease.”
The vulnerability in his cracking voice is more than I can take and the tears I had been holding back threaten to overcome me. I need to get away. All I want to do is to make as much distance between us. I don’t want to be here and feel these feelings. I’m not ready to confront them and because I’m not ready to face them, I harden my heart and tell myself that I’m a stone – a cold unfeeling, hard stone.
Summoning all the inner strength I possess, I address him firmly, determined to maintain a steadfast demeanor until it feels real. “Jinghua,” I begin, trying to sound composed, “your behavior is highly inappropriate. This is your home, the place you share with your wife, and today is her birthday. Your actions have made everyone uncomfortable, including myself. I implore you to go back and explain to everyone that it was all just a show, a dramatic performance for the celebration.”
But deep inside, a part of me is seething, boiling like a cauldron, unable to suppress the pain that gnaws at me. I can’t help but transfer some of that pain onto him. “Frankly, I’m glad this happened,” I admit, unable to meet his pleading and apologetic gaze. “It has served as a much-needed dose of reality. This game we’ve been playing, this charade between us, has grown tiresome and dull.”
I turn my gaze away, knowing that he is unraveling, falling apart, and yet I am aware that none of this is his fault. He doesn’t deserve any of the hurt I wish upon him, but I am bitter and bruised, and the desire for him to feel the pain I feel is overpowering. “I’m putting an end to this fake love affair,” I declare, my voice heavy with bitterness. “I will return all the money you gave me. It was a foolish mistake from the very beginning.”
“Fourth Prince Jinghua, your highness” I bend, bowing before him to remind him who we really are, master and servant. I taste metallic blood on my lips when I utter the words that go against my heart. “Your highness, as of now we won’t owe each other anything, and I think it would be best for my future and reputation if we never saw each other again..”
His shoulders drop. His lips quiver. “A future without me? Meihua don’t do this.” He begs me and his soft voice carrying the heavy weight of his crushed emotions. I’ve injured him. I’ve never seen a man cry. He’s a grown man, breaking down like a child, weeping the tears I’m holding back. He is so miserable and distressed… He’s shattered. “That’s it?” He asks. “Is it that easy for you that you can walk away from me just like… so effortlessly? I’m confused. What exactly was I to you?”
I take a deep breath, steadying myself as I gather the strength to speak my truth, which is nothing but lies. The brisk words escape my lips, laced with an icy resolve. “We were strangers, who became fake lovers, then we enjoyed each other’s bodies and company hiding from the rain. Those whispered promises at the inn were nothing but pillow talk. People say things they don’t mean in the heat of the moment.”
As I speak these words, a shiver runs down my spine, a mixture of immense sorrow and, strangely enough, relief intertwining within me. It is a bittersweet realization that the person standing in front of me was never truly mine, and I was never truly his. With each passing moment, my heart grows harder, constructing an impenetrable fortress to shield myself from the lingering pain. I refuse to allow the remnants of an illusion to consume me any longer. The decision to reenter the realm of strangers feels like an act of self-protection, preservation, and a necessary step towards reclaiming the part of myself that I had unwisely given to him.
I am reiterating my words, not just for him, but also for myself, as a way to reinforce my decision. “Fourth Prince, we began our journey as strangers, and it is time for us to revert to that state.”
I give him one last grin and turn away from him, knowing he can easily catch me, but he lets me go and I run until I can’t breathe. I run the other way so I won’t bump back into him, for I fear my willpower isn’t as firm as it was moments ago and once I cross the gates; I hop into the carriage without glancing back and vomit into my apron, not caring Uncle Wei is watching me.
As I sit in the carriage, wiping away the tears and the remnants of vomit from my bloodied lips, I can’t help but replay the events in my mind. The way his eyes were full of longing penetrating into mine. The pleading in his voice, but the reality of our situation, quickly crushed any hope that had blossomed within me.
I’m a fool.
My heart aches for the idiot that I am. My heart throbs, knowing that our chance of love was a fantasy and doomed from the start. We can’t change the world. The stark contrast between our lives, the insurmountable gap between a prince and a servant, is our harsh reality, and the abuse and insults hurled at me back at the manor would have been something I would have had to endure all my life.
So I tell myself it was all pretense. I remind myself nothing was real. It couldn’t have worked out between us.