Qian Qian
Meihua-
Disguised as a boy, I sneak into the Hall Of Eternal Spring. The place of earthly pleasures and intrigue, determined to find my sister. As I step into the room, my heart pounds in my chest and my breath catches in my throat. With my head low, I focus my gaze on the back of Jinghua’s boots.
Qing Yuan had warned me not to draw any attention to myself, to avoid making any feminine actions or gestures that could reveal my true identity. But his worries were unwarranted. Not a single person has noticed the small figure standing behind Jinghua as all eyes fall on him.
Jinghua’s mere presence demands attention. Standing tall and imposing, he wears a sophisticated, dark cobalt blue robe that is both modest and stylish. Most his long, black hair is flowing freely, except for a small knot in which a simple silver hairpin is pierced through. A sense of enigma and fascination emanates from him, accentuated by his posture – head held high, shoulders squared, and one hand casually tucked behind his back. With an air of effortless regality and self-assurance, he captivates onlookers, drawing curious gazes from every angle.
His intense, penetrating gaze has intimidated many, yet people cannot help but gawk at him, causing me to question if they have forgotten their manners. The combination of his brooding and melancholic expression enhances his allure, implying a deep emotional complexity that both captivates and frightens others. Men and women alike find themselves inexplicably drawn to him, abandoning their usual conversations and activities upon his arrival.
Time appears to slow down, and a hushed reverence fills the room. Crowds instinctively part to make way for him as he passes by. It’s not that Jinghua tries to be noticed, but his irresistible magnetism naturally draws people towards him, making him the center of attention against his will.
The courtesans are shameless and wanton. Their rouged mouths curl into flirtatious smiles as their eyes eagerly scan every inch of his face and body. They want to be noticed by him. I can discern their desires from the amorous expressions on their faces. Although everything between us is just an act, their lascivious gazes are starting to get under my skin.
It takes all my self-control not to scowl at them as I clench my fists, overcome by this feeling, this sudden urge to slap those looks off their painted faces. But it’s not just the women. Even the men have fallen under his dark spell. Those who were loud and boisterous moments ago have now become silent in his presence. I’ve never witnessed men shrink like wilted flowers because of another man. Their shoulders droop, and inferiority flashes in their eyes when he walks through the room. A stillness fills the air.
The only sound is a dull thud as I run into the back of him. “Ouch.” I exclaim. “Si Yin, watch your step.” I hear him growl through clenched teeth. His voice saturated in annoyance and the parental tone he uses when he’s scolding me.
Muttering under my breath, I quietly complain, “I can’t see anything from here. Please clear the path.” Qing Yuan and Jinghua are blocking my view, making it difficult for me to see anything. Jinghua turns back towards me and warns, “I’ll be leaving in ten minutes, but if you cause a scene, I won’t wait. Stay quiet and let Qing Yuan handle all the talking.”
I frown at him just as a mesmerizing courtesan glides gracefully through the grand entertainment hall. Her golden hairpins dance with the sway of her hips, perfectly in sync with her seductive smile. Her large, alluring eyes, framed by thick black lashes, are captivating. With high, contoured cheekbones, she possesses a striking appearance. The plum blossom Hudian on her forehead and lips are painted the same bright crimson color, the vivid hue drawing even more attention to her full, pouty mouth. She wears an elegant, low-cut dress that reveals a generous amount of cleavage, causing me to blush.
She is truly beautiful.
“Young Lord Shao, it is an honor to see you again,” she warmly addresses Qing Yuan with familiarity before turning to Jinghua. Suddenly, her eyes widen and she sinks to her knees. Her graceful neck reminds me of a swan as she bows her head forward, her voice trembling. “Forgive me for not recognizing the Crown Prince.” Her faux pas makes me wonder how often Jinghua has been mistaken for his brother.
Jinghua’s body tenses up, his gaze fixed on the ceiling, intentionally avoiding any eye contact with the woman. He emanates an icy demeanor, so chilling that it would have made me shudder if I didn’t know him. Jinghua’s voice matches his cold posture, and it’s enough to freeze anyone to the core. “Get up. I am not my brother,” he says, his tone causing the courtesan to flinch.
Qing Yuan quickly intervenes, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere and helping her stand. “Our fourth prince prefers to remain unnoticed. He is still adjusting to this fine place since he has never been here before,” Qing Yuan explains with his usual enthusiasm. “My friends and I hoped you could assist us. We are searching for a specific girl. She might be…” Qing Yuan trails off, his gaze shifting to me, uncertainty flickering across his face and then onto Jinghua’s.
“Meili is her name. She just turned thirteen.” I speak with a deepened voice to sound like a man, standing on my tiptoes, leaning over Jinghua’s shoulder to get a better look at the courtesan. She narrows her gaze at me, then smirks, clearly aware of my true gender. She’s not fooled at all. “Meili has beautiful brown eyes, long black hair, a cute button nose, and she’s quite pretty. She’s shorter than me. I’ve been searching for her. Do you know where I can find her?” I inquire, as the woman gracefully opens her fan and starts fanning herself.
Her made-up eyes dart between the three of us. ”We don’t deal with underaged girls. The Hall of Eternal Spring is reputable. We don’t tolerate or encourage such unscrupulous practices. Lord Shao, I’m surprised you’d come here looking for someone like this young lord’s sister.” She says, with her gaze focused on me and when she calls me a young lord, her sarcasm is noticeable.
Jinghua reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out what appears to be a jewelry box, and hands it to the woman. Watching him, I’m wondering how he knew to come with such an offering. “Here. A token of my… appreciation. If you have nothing to hide and follow the law, you won’t object to us searching for Lord Si Yin’s sister. We won’t be over ten minutes.”
The box emits a soft creak when it is opened by the woman, caused by the spring inside. My reaction is a gasp when I see the contents. The courtesan’s eyebrows arch like towering mountains, her eyes sparkling with delight as she gazes at the exquisite jade hairpins adorned with rubies and emerald jewels. However, she shifts her attention towards me and addresses Jinghua.
“The Fourth Prince is very generous, and it’s possible this girl you seek is a servant that I’m unaware of, but lord Si Yin cannot go. The Hall of Eternal Spring adheres to the Emperor’s guidelines with respect. If people found out we let a minor roam around our establishment, let alone a maiden who’s lovely enough to be mistaken for a courtesan, it would be detrimental to us. Some things are not suitable for the eyes of a young girl.”
Jinghua responds with a wry laugh. “Will you offend me by insisting Si Yin pull out his cock for everyone to see? Believe me, if you don’t shut your eyes for ten minutes, I’ll make sure none of your girls can access the palace anymore. We’re both aware of the advantages you gain when one of your coworkers becomes a concubine. It would be unfortunate for you if certain privileges came to a halt.”
“Forgive me, Fourth Prince. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone,” she says, but there’s no sincerity in her apology. No. Jinghua misses what my woman’s gaze captures. I notice a momentary glimpse of underlying anger and bitterness in her eyes as she reluctantly submits yielding to him, despite her lack of desire to do so. Perhaps it’s the combination of his influence and status? Whether it’s his nature or a mix of everything, Jinghua has somehow made her afraid, even though I’ve never felt that way about him. Today has shown me why people would get scared when he’s present. His presence alone conveys a mix of intimidation and threat without raising his voice.
The courtesan leads the way, beckoning the Fourth Prince to follow, but Jinghua interrupts with a throat-clearing sound. “Your presence is unneeded and not welcome. Qing Yuan has visited this place often and can lead us around without your escort.” Qing Yuan’s cheeks turn pink as she bows and disappears into the crowd of silk, flowers, and beautiful women after listening to Jinghua’s words and sharp tone.
“Aya, what happened to letting me do all the talking?” Qing Yuan watches the courtesan depart and turns towards Jinghua, his tone filled with irritation. “You’re too harsh! Why must you be so unkind, Jinghua? I had the situation handled. Aren’t you aware honey attracts more bees than horse piss?” he complains. However, their deep friendship quickly becomes clear as Qing Yuan’s anger dissipates as swiftly as it emerged and he refocuses on our purpose for being here.
He turns to me. “Let’s begin by asking the servants. It’s possible that your sister is using an alias and lying about her age.” Qing Yuan leads us to the many kitchens and other areas frequented by the servants before guiding us to an open courtyard. The scene before us is a mesmerizing display of elegance, frivolity, and pleasure. Exquisitely attired courtesans mingle with veiled musicians, their eyes captivatingly adorned, while delighted men revel in their company.
Some indulge in tea and wine, while others engage in card and other games with women by their side. The gentle melodies of music float on the breeze, accompanied by the lingering scent of perfume and the infectious laughter of a woman. I find myself entranced by this unfamiliar world, where intrigue and seduction permeate the air, creating an almost tangible atmosphere. Courtesans smile at me flirtatiously and I find myself smiling back foolishly despite my attempt not to draw attention to myself, but Jinghua shoots me a stern glance, tugging at my sleeve forcefully when he notices me falling behind, hypnotized by the overwhelming array of sights before me.
“This differs from what I had imagined. Did you see that courtesan under the tree playing a zither? She looked like a fairy. I don’t know why, but I expected more nudity, and public displays of shared desires.” I confess, glancing at Qing Yuan.
His eyes crinkle with amusement as he smiles at me. “Meihua, you have a mischievous and naughty mind to imagine such spicy things. Perhaps such erotic scenes occur upstairs, but I can’t say from personal experience,” he winks and jests, his voice filled with mirth. Then he turns to Jinghua and encourages, “Come on, Jinghua, relax. It wouldn’t hurt to have some fun on our quest to find Meihua’s sister. Maybe you should try to meet a genuine woman here, someone who is willing.”
Jinghua’s steps come to an abrupt halt as he turns to Qing Yuan and growls, “Shall I cut off your idiotic wagging tongue here or later?” He says, from his dark eyes, invisible darts flying at Qing Yuan’s face when we hear voices from behind, “Is that fourth brother? That looks like Qing Yuan with him! Fourth brother, is that you?”
Grinding his teeth, Jinghua exclaims under his breath, “Fuck.” His body tense, his brows furrow, and his nostrils flare like an enraged bull. His hands clench into tight fists, as if he were ready to throw a punch. “Why in the hell are they here?’ Frustration consumes him completely. “Instead of wasting time here, those lazy bastards should be attending the assembly.”
“Jinghua, what’s going on?” This new side of Jinghua that I’ve never seen before makes me genuinely uncomfortable, and I question him with dread. I had persuaded him to come to this place against his will, and now I’m anxious about the trouble he might face. My body language reveals my nervousness as I wring my hands and stutter. “Wi…will t..the emperor punish you, Jinghua? I’m sorry. I will confess to the emperor and be prepared for any punishment. I’ll make sure everyone knows it was my terrible idea.”
“We need everyone to be calm. Jinghua won’t face any trouble, but he’ll never hear the end of this. Jinghua is the prince admired for his unwavering integrity. The emperor adores him because he is virtuous. Favored.” Qing Yuan remarks, using air quotes when he says favored. “He’s uptight, like he has a stick up his ass and rigid, so his envious no-good brothers are always looking for his flaws and they’ll tease him mercilessly about finding him in a pleasure house.”
“Thankfully, he’s got a friend like me,” Qing Yuan says, flashing a broad smile that fills me with confidence in his abilities. He urges us to head in the opposite direction, saying, “Take the stairs on the left. Look for a room to hide in, and I’ll track you down after I’ve shaken them off. I’ll keep them occupied and make them believe they’re wrong. You know I can convince a hungry bear to give me his first meal after winter hibernation.”
Qing Yuan once again pushes Jinghua, but instead of reacting, Jinghua stands there, seemingly resigned to the humiliation coming his way. But then I swiftly take hold of his hand, signaling for him to run. “Let’s go, Jinghua! Come with me!” Initially, he resists, his body unwilling and his feet dragging. However, once he notices my determination, he matches my speed, and together we sprint through the garden and I find it odd. Having never been in the private rooms before, Qing Yuan surprisingly knows the layout of the property.
True to his word, we come across the stairs. Jinghua, with his long legs, hastily effortlessly takes two steps at a time, dragging me along. It’s not a humorous situation, yet I can’t help but giggle at the sheer absurdity of it all. Jinghua turns towards me, his voice firm and as grumpy as ever, but a tiny smile dances on his lips as he pulls me forward, commanding, “Hurry up! Move your skinny little ass! I can’t believe the things I do for you.”
Climbing the stairs, we finally arrive on the top floor, both of us gasping for air. Doors are lined on both sides as we make our way down the empty corridor. He guides me to the room farthest at the end of the hall and taps on the door. With no reaction, he opens it, and we step inside. The room is compact, with sheer panels surrounding a bed made for two. The suggestive scene is enough to make him curse again.
He exclaims, “Out of the frying pan, into the damn fire! I didn’t think things could get worse, but here it is.” He motions to the bed in exasperation, then rushes to the open window and suggests insanity. He says, “I’ll jump first and catch you.”
“We’re on the fifth floor. You’ll break your legs!” I shout in protest and he replies in earnest. “Meihua, I would rather have broken legs than run into my brothers here.”
“Qing Yuan promised to come and get us. We need to be patient. Have a seat and relax…or stand.” I add the last part since the only place to sit is the bed. I try to reason with him even though a part of me doesn’t understand and I think he’s overreacting but as soon as I hear Qing Yuan’s voice and others coming closer, I am struck by the strangeness and alarming persistence of his brothers in their pursuit of Jinghua.
“If you’re here Qing Yuan, fourth brother is too.”
“Who was that short one with Jinghua?”
“Could it be fifteenth, brother? Has fourth brother brought little Jingnie here to teach him about women?”
“It’s the virtuous ones who are most lustful. Just wait until royal father hears his favorite principled son does not differ from everyone else. ”
There is a quiver in Qing Yuan’s voice. I can almost visualize the fake smile on his face as he deceitfully tries to stall Jinghua’s brothers. “Aya, Princes why would Jinghua come here? He would absolutely not. It’s no secret how he feels about pushy women, let alone courtesans. My two out-of-town cousins have been mistaken for Jinghua and young Prince Jingnei by your highnesses. Aya, these private areas are designated for lovers. We should leave them alone as they search for paradise. Let’s make our way downstairs and relish the exceptional wine and beauties here.”
“Step aside, Qing Yuan. We all know how dedicated you are to Jinghua. He and fifteenth brother came this way. You can lie until you’re blue in the face, but we know what we saw. Once we find our siblings, we’ll see what unfolds. Stay close Qing Yuan for an unforgettable spectacle…” Laughter breaks out, but it doesn’t sound like the laughter of brothers or mischief. They speak with sarcastic and vengeful tones. The Emperor’s sons seem more akin to a pack of hunting dogs in pursuit of a fox, rather than being imperial princes.
“Your brothers are assholes.” I declare, watching Jinghua drop his head and shoulders in resignation.
With a sigh, he asks, “What options do we have?” He breathes in and out through his nose. “Don’t worry about it, Meihua. I’ll be fine.” he tries to console me even in this awkward predicament, pacing back and forth. I can’t allow anything to happen to him. I won’t tolerate his brothers to make a fool of him. “Take off your clothes, well, at least your coat and shirt and get in bed. I refuse to let you endure humiliation because of my actions. I have a solution. Just go along with me.” I say, undoing my hair and removing my clothes while Jinghua stares at me, speechless.
With my gaze lowered and cheeks flushed, I remove my shirt, aware that only my husband should see me like this. As I stand before him, the room suddenly feels oppressively hot. The space between us crackles with an electrifying energy. His penetrating gaze follows my every move, sending shivers down my spine. The atmosphere becomes charged, and a palpable nervousness settles under my skin.
My mouth becomes dry, making it difficult to swallow, while my heart pounds uncontrollably in my chest, its rhythm echoing in my ears. Heat rushes to my face, turning the deepest shade of red, and my trembling hands reach for the cotton binding that conceals my breasts. I do not know of men’s desires or seduction, but it seems like there is another woman within me, leading me through the steps and unraveling the soft material like a graceful dance of sensuality as the fabric glides through my fingers and exposes my gentle curves and contours.
When the binding drops, a sound escapes his lips – a faint mix of a gasp and an exhale – as my bare breasts are exposed.
As each piece of clothing drops to the floor, I am aware that my behavior may be seen as improper. It is possible that he will perceive me as a promiscuous woman, but I cannot deny my true feelings, even if it is only to myself.
Jinghua might not fit the stereotype of a charming fairytale prince, just as I am far from being a princess in need of saving. He may not be the affectionate or romantic type, but his honesty and kindness shine through, even if he tries to hide it behind a protective wall around his heart. I long to break through that barrier and be the one to bring peace to the storm in his eyes. My love for Jinghua is undoubtedly genuine, despite his belief that our relationship is only a facade. Suppressing my emotions becomes increasingly difficult with each encounter.
They consume my every thought, making it challenging to keep them hidden from him.
My mind is filled with endless daydreams about him, so much so that he even makes appearances in my dreams. It’s almost a nightly ritual for me to imagine being held in his strong yet gentle embrace, feeling the heat of his sweat-drenched body against mine. In these dreams, he whispers a name into my ear, a name that isn’t mine, yet it strangely resonates deep within me.
Qian Qian.
He calls out for his Qian Qian, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within me. When I wake up, tears stain my pillow, for above all else in this world, I yearn to be he’s calling to.