Bound to Cross Paths
Her eunuch Xiao Wei and a female attendant guarding the entry to her residence see me and kneel before addressing me. “Greetings to the emperor. We were not informed of your visit to the empress tonight. She is getting ready for bed, but I will inform the empress and Gugu Min that you’re here.”
Her maid precedes me, hurrying inside to tell Yueli I’ve arrived. I can faintly hear their soft voices and the murmured conversation from inside, which carries on in the quiet air. “Please serve the emperor a calming tea suitable for this time of night and tell him I’ll be out shortly,” Yueli says, standing behind the silk screen as Little Min changes her clothes.
The gentle, flickering candlelight illuminates the pale, delicate ivory privacy silkscreen in front of her, where she stands, casting a dancing glow from my viewpoint. The warm, hazy, golden light gently filters through the sheer, gauzy fabric, making the image of her sharper and more precise, as if there were nothing between us, creating a perfect tease for my senses.
She was five months along when I last shared her bed and saw her nude. Her body has undergone drastic changes over the last three and a half months. As her pregnancy advances, she has blossomed even more and now looks like a luscious ripe fruit ready to be plucked, her image both provocative and miraculous.
It would be appropriate for me not to stare at her for modesty’s sake, but I can’t help myself as she draws my gaze to her, and I’m in awe of what I see.
Her breasts have become heavy and full and extremely beckoning. Their roundness and contours are accentuated by the gentle shadows cast upon them. The sight of her enlarged, erect nipples, almost black like luscious blackberries, makes my mouth water and stirs my desires.
Her curvy body has now transformed into a sensuous canvas of motherhood. Her presence and the ache to embrace her tenderly were overwhelming. I miss the gentle warmth of her cuddling and pressing against me. I can’t recall the last time I tasted her honeyed lips. If she only knew how often I think about when I used to nuzzle my face against her rounded stomach, and feel the faint vibrations of tiny, perfectly formed limbs stretching from within. It had felt like our unborn children happily danced inside her, sensing my presence.
She is the most alluring vision to me; nothing compares to my beloved carrying our children.
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Yueli~
Since I lost my sight, my hearing and other senses have heightened. Without visual stimulation, my ears have become more attuned to the world around me. I can pick up sounds that others don’t notice right away. For example, I didn’t need to be told when the emperor left. I heard him stand abruptly, take a deep breath, and leave without even touching his evening tea. I detected the familiar aromas of valerian and chamomile as soon as it was poured. The quick rhythm of his boots hitting the ground and fading into silence marked his swift departure.
“Well, that was the most pathetic attempt at seduction, which had absolutely no effect at all,” I declare, feeling foolish for bothering to try. I don’t know what I was expecting when the emperor’s harem houses some of the most beautiful women from all over the dynasty.
I should know. I picked them to serve him personally.
I reach out, waving my hands aimlessly before me until Little Min catches them with hers. I don’t need my vision to know she’s making the expression she makes when she’s upset. I imagine her face is probably a mask of frustration and anger; she’s pouting, her face pinched, and her nose scrunched. It is possible that she is more disappointed in the emperor than I, for she truly believed his devotion for me was genuine, but then I did too… for a moment in time.
We were both foolhardy women.
“Empress, perhaps the emperor is still feeling unsure and doesn’t know how to approach you again,” she says, taking my hands in hers and leading me around the room. I know we have reached the seat in front of my vanity when the chair’s plush cushion presses into the back of my thighs. I sit down and place my palms on the flat surface, feeling more secure with my hands set on something stable. With caution, she removes the silk blindfold from my closed eyes, which I hesitate to open. I’m afraid of how my eyes might look to others. I want to avoid the appearance of blindness, and I’m unsure if my eyes stare out vacantly, crossed, or wander in different directions.
“Are my eyes crossed or peculiar looking now? Does one point to the heavens and the other down towards the earth like the imperial astronomer?” I ask her. She replies in a soothing tone, like a mother comforting a child. “Empress, you shouldn’t worry about such things. Your eyes are just as beautiful as before. Little Min would let you know if there were any issues.”
Little Min declares, running the coarse boar’s hair brush through my hair, “Empress’s hair is now gleaming, long and thicker.”
Each brushstroke releases the camellia-scented hair oil from my longer, pregnancy-grown tresses. A sigh of relief escapes me as the pins are taken out, my hair cascading down my back like a waterfall, freeing my neck from the weight. The ends now reach the floor, according to Little Min.
I don’t think I want to hear the answer, but I need to know, “Did the emperor glance over at all?”
The brush stops, then is lifted from my head as she replies, “Empress, the Emperor looked this way, but I cannot describe his expression. I wasn’t studying him that intently.”
Slight humiliation burns my cheeks. “I shouldn’t have asked,” I scoff, laughing at myself more than anything else. “This pregnancy has made me muddle-headed.”
As I feel a gentle kick, a sensation that resonates deep within, I delicately caress my rounded stomach as if acknowledging them. I intentionally speak with an uplift in my tone, hiding any trace of defeat. A soft chuckle masked my disappointment. “Ahhhh,” I exclaim, “What was I thinking? Who, in their right mind, could find this” I gesture towards my protruding belly “appealing?” Uncertainty and insecurity flood me, exploiting my vulnerability. “A blind woman, who is this heavily pregnant?” I confide in Little Min. “It is not a vision of lust and temptation or, in any way, arousing. I must surely repulse him, and the only sentiment the emperor harbors for me now is pity.”
“I didn’t know how to seduce him when I wasn’t pregnant and could see, so I don’t know what made me think flashing the emperor a bit of flesh would have any effect on him,” I say when Little Min leads the way to my bed. The sound of her pulling back the blankets and patting the bed is one of the many new signals between us that tells me to get in.
After she tucks me in bed, I ask Little Min to find out who the emperor went to after he left my palace. Moments later, she returns, stating that the emperor had gone back to the Hall of Cultivation, making no other stops at other residences.
I know my appeal had waned, but I didn’t expect such a drastic effect on him, completely extinguishing his libido. As I lie in bed, my thoughts drift, and I find myself overwhelmed with a range of emotions. The combination of profound humor, lingering humiliation, and an unfathomable emotion I can’t explain amuses me. I find myself feeling simultaneously amused and rejected, a novel and paradoxical experience. It makes me laugh. Suppose I can’t find hilarity in the absurdity of my situation. I’m not human, but this rejection is making me feel incredibly lonely.
I need to be touched.
I drew her to my side of the bed. We have become bonded. Our servant and mistress relationship has evolved into a more sisterly one. Our connection is unmistakable and absolute as we lie close, hands clasped, fingers interlocked. With Min Qian Ju gone, Little Min is all I have left. Consoled by Little Min’s closeness, her calm breathing, and the warmth of her breath on my face in this sensitive state, I pose a long-held, troubling question: Am I ugly now? Does my current state evoke pity in her?
I can hear her sniffling. I imagine her silent tears streaming down her face, soaking the bedding. “No, empress. Not at all.”
Little Min’s voice breaks as I hear her barely holding back a sob. “Empress is as beautiful as ever, maybe even more. You’re growing princes inside you. What could be more beautiful, and who would dare to pity you? Perhaps next time we should try getting you closer to the emperor. Maybe our plan was too timid tonight, but I didn’t know how far the empress was willing to go or if you were ready to resume serving him.”
“Do you miss the emperor? Do you still love him?” Little Min asks as I drift off to sleep.
==========
I quickly fall asleep every night. However, a few hours later, I am wide awake in a quiet, dark palace. It’s probably chǒu, the hour of the ox. At this time, only the babies and I are awake.
They say every pregnancy is different, and this one has been a whirlwind of sensations, leaving me feeling overwhelmed both physically and emotionally. I long for the time when I could manage my volatile emotions. The feel of my body transforming into this swollen, clumsy being is hard to appreciate. The heaviness of this new shape weighs me down, making me long for the freedom to move with ease. I am ready to shed this cocoon and emerge anew. However, I am aware that one day I will reminisce on this time of togetherness with fondness because these babies were there with me through everything I experienced in the past months, and I was never alone.
“Forgive me, children,” I breathe, hands resting on them, rubbing my distended abdomen. Considering how stretched and taut my skin is, it’s surprising I haven’t gotten stretch marks.
My chest has gotten full and heavy, just like the rest of my body. I cup my breasts, giving them a slight jiggle, noticing the comforting yet arousing sensation it brings.
I bite back a moan as I caress them gently, and my nipples harden. My fingertips lazily encircle my hardened nipples, offering a delicate touch that brings forth instant pleasure. Like water pouring over ice, my fingertips move fluidly across me. Light and teasing, tantalizing touches dance on my sensitive skin, stoking my arousal and igniting a deep need within me.
I gently touch my breasts, feeling their softness. Twisting my nipples brings pleasure. I trace the curves of my stomach with my hands, enjoying the sensation. My skin feels velvety. Sweeping my hands on my inner thighs sends tingling. I long to satisfy my desire for pleasure. My hand descends, and I am met with a surge of intense moisture between my legs. The slickness coats my fingertips, creating a slippery sensation as I explore.
I feel the tender and full folds of my intimate area, gently pulling on them to heighten my excitement. With a soft gasp that transforms into a hushed moan, I can no longer contain my desire as I insert a finger inside me. My breath quickens, and a flush of heat spreads across my face and chest, and the tips of my ears grow hot. I penetrate myself slowly and carefully. I roll my right nipple between my fingertips. With my bottom pressing firmly into the bed and a widened spread, I gently slip two fingers inside, experiencing a surge of heat akin to a fever spreading over my skin, accompanied by increased wetness that leaves my fingertips slicker.
My backside tightened rhythmically in synch with the movements of my fingers gliding in and out of the place of need. My body tenses as my arousal builds, ready for release, so I rub my pink nub, knowing exactly how to please myself. The winding movements begin slowly and steadily. My index and third fingers glide smoothly over the slippery surface while circling my clitoris.
I bite back my moan, holding a groan that gets caught in my throat. The anticipation builds in my stomach as my arousal increases, inching towards climax. My toes curl, thighs open wider, and when a warm hand too big to be Little Min’s lightly touches my inner legs, causing my hand to flinch, lift off, and break contact, it delays my climax and leaves my body tense and coiled up.
I’m more flustered than startled. A blush of embarrassment spread from head to toe, making me squirm and turn away from his voice as if to hide my face bashfully. I don’t know how I didn’t hear him, but now I smell him. That masculine smell reminds me of the woods, the rain, and the ocean breeze.
“Yueli,” he speaks in a deep voice, “Will you let me take care of you?”
The warmth he exudes is both tempting and comforting. His hands slowly caressing my thighs while his lips plant light kisses on each of my knees feels good. “May I take care of you?” He asks hoarsely as he leans down and presses his face into my swollen stomach, inhales, and rains butterfly kisses on my skin. “I don’t expect you to reciprocate. I only want to give you pleasure. Will you let me?”
I know I shouldn’t give in this easily. Despite my reservations. I reply, “Yes.”
I hear him shaking Little Min, who swiftly sits up in confusion and asks what’s wrong. When he tells her to leave, she doesn’t hesitate, and now it’s just me and the emperor. I hear him remove his belt, boots, and clothes, one layer at a time. He quickly comes back to my bed. His hands move closer to me, lightly brushing the back of my knees before gently stroking the sides of my hips with his thumbs.
He supports me with his hands underneath, and his head descends. A muffled groan escapes him as he leans towards my sex, his mustache brushing my skin. I listen as he takes a deep breath, inhaling my scent, letting out a soft groan, then lightly kissing my lower abdomen before his tongue explores my intimate area, teasing and enticing, increasing my pleasure. A soft moan escapes me as a wave of arousal washes over me while he sensually explores me with purposeful strokes of his tongue.
His thumb finds its way to my sensitive nub, causing my hips to lift from the bed and a creeping sensation to build in the base of my stomach. His movements are deliberate and controlled, steadily increasing the pressure, driving my body to spiral out of control. The wave crashes over me, causing my thighs to tremble and my hands to twist into the sheets. After I reach the peak of my orgasm, he moves away from my throbbing and quivering sex, planting kisses on my body as he ends up kneeling between my legs. He edges closer and positions my legs over his, setting the back of my thighs on his quads until I feel his stiffened desire graze my inner thigh.
A gentle nudge of his fingers presses and strokes my quivering entrance. With each movement, he applies just the right amount of pressure, teasing and tantalizing my senses. I can feel the heat radiating from my sex, igniting a fire within me. His finger glides through my wetness, and his skilled thumb taps my pink pearl. I arch my hips as much as possible, giving him better access to my eagerness.
A breathy moan escapes us both as another finger slides inside. As he continues his delicious assault on my senses, he kisses the tops of my knees, his hands caressing my legs. His strokes are slow and deliberate, only halfway entering me. Without stopping, he moves forward, pressing my legs into my body lightly as he curves his body over mine to not put pressure on my stomach and kisses me passionately. His lips feel warm and inviting, tempting me to kiss him back. However, it’s not the same as before; there’s a lack of heat from my side. To spare his feelings, I respond with minimal enthusiasm, but deep down.
I want to end the kiss.
He tells me, “I’ve missed you, my love.” But I don’t want his affection or intimate pillow talk. I focus on his pleasurable finger. His sweet nothings mean nothing to me. I don’t think it matters who is with me, since my craving is for physical contact. But I will confess.. He knows how to make me feel so damn good.
His skilled fingers were dancing, playing me like a lute. The gentle strumming and precise plucking send shivers down my spine, causing my body to tremble with pleasure. The music from the vibrating strings is my shuddered moans and quivering groans, the melodies of my ecstasy. Continuously nibbling on my neck, he leads me to writhe on the bed and when a finger glides along my wetness, finding my clit again, my hips moves instinctually. He teases, flicking it lightly. Then he rubs gentle circles around it. I join him, placing my fingers on top of his, winding the sensitive bud with him, and quickening the speed until I sense I’m nearing that feeling.
“That’s it. Come for me.” A husky, brassy whisper, heavy with desire, escaped his lips. He licks my enlarged areolas and flicks my nipples with his tongue. He delicately sucks on my breasts and tugs on them gently. As the pressure builds, my pleasure keeps cresting higher and mounting further until I am on the precipice. Oh God! So good…
“Don’t stop,” I moan breathily. “Keep doing that.” I need him to keep this pace and not change his rhythm as I let myself go. Intense pleasure consumes me. I let out a sharp grunt. “YES!” I cry out. The climax washes over me, making my body stiffen and my muscles tense. It feels like a released coil, then I weaken. My chest rises and falls as I catch my breath. My orgasm triggers a sudden tingling sensation in my breasts, making them feel full and firm as he gently sucks on them, prolonging my climax.
It’s natural for my breasts to leak at this stage of pregnancy, but I’m embarrassed. The chill of his saliva on my nipples replaces the warmth from his mouth. “I’m sorry. I should have warned you this might happen,” I speak sheepishly, feeling too spent to blush. However, I gasp in surprise as he quickly takes my nipple into his mouth again, voraciously.
This feeling is surprisingly pleasurable. As he intensifies his sucking on my leaking breast, he strokes himself. The tug of his mouth is pleasing until a soreness sets in. As I whimper in pain, he lets go of my nipple and rests his forehead on my stomach. The sound of him pleasuring himself becomes faster and faster until he grunts and groans before warm jets of his essence land on my stomach.
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Jingyuan~
The subtle scent of incense lingers in the air, intertwining with the delicate aroma of tobacco wafting from royal mother’s pipe. With each strike of the match, a soft flicker of sound resonates, harmonizing with the gentle crackling of the tobacco as it ignites. As the attendant brings the flame closer again, the empress dowager takes a deliberate lung-filling inhale. With a slow exhale, a swirling cloud of smoke gracefully dances, catching the attention of her feline companion. The long-haired grey cat, nestled in her lap, gazes up at the smoke with mild curiosity, its bushy tail lazily swaying to and fro.
“Since the emperor and empress are one mind and one heart again, I can finally breathe.” Empress Dowager says during morning greetings, which Yueli stopped doing since her pregnancy. “I was worried A-li was going to reject you forever, but since she has forgiven you, the emperor must be good to her and never make such a mistake again. Remember, the empress is your first and legal wife.”
My mortal mother isn’t the only one relieved. I thought I was going to be spending the remainder of this trial being hated by her, and there was a part of me that was certain she was going to ask me for a divorce, but she hasn’t. Not that we’ve spoken much.
She and I have resumed intimacy again, even though it’s not like before when I used to feel her abandonment of self yielding to me. Her passions match mine. Now I sense her holding back. She comes across unconvinced, even indifferent, when I tell her I love her, and, of course, she has yet to tell me she loves me back, but she allows me to embrace her when we sleep. Despite seeming insignificant, these small steps she lets me take to get closer to her fill me with hope. I have faith that things will return to normal after she gives birth.
“With the empress’s gracious gesture of peace, perhaps the emperor should consider granting her some freedom.” The empress dowager says. Her informal tone masks an underlying demand. I don’t believe she’s suggesting, rather she’s passively aggressively dictating what I should do.
Taking another drag from her pipe, she releases the smoke, and it wisps around her in curls like celestial tendrils. “Tomorrow marks the 49th day since Min Qian Ju’s passing. A-li never had the chance to pay her respects and say goodbye at her funeral, unlike the others. It would be a kind gesture on your part to let her visit her dear friend’s resting place. They were like sisters, bound by a bond as strong as blood.”
“Partings can be just as meaningful, or even more so, than meetings,” the Empress Dowager reflects, gently putting down her pipe to pick up her wine. She claims the wine has been warmed to remove the alcohol, but the faint rosy hue on her cheeks tells a different story.
“No,” I respond firmly, a slight frown etching across my face as I cross my arms over my chest. “It is not good for a pregnant woman to visit such a place, especially when she is already overdue.”
The imperial physicians stated the second week of this month was the expected time for her labor, and yet here we are in the third week. There have been no signs of impending labor. She had only begun to dilate, and she had yet to experience any contractions.
Empress Dowager side eyes me, reprimanding me as she did when I was younger. “A leisurely walk, some fresh air, and a release of her pent-up emotions would be beneficial for her. She needs to relax so nature can take its course.”
This debate is draining. I don’t enjoy arguing this early in the morning. A sense of relief washes over me when I hear the approaching footsteps of Eunuch Bo, sensing this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for, so I can leave and start my day. But the sight of his long face makes me uneasy as it tells me that his appearance isn’t to deliver good news.
Eunuch Bo greets the Empress Dowager, then me. His expression is solemn. He hands me a message from Bai Yi Bo, his hand shaking nervously. The contents of the message, revealed after I broke the seal, render me instantly weak and drained. My skin goes cold as the blood seems to drain from my face, and my mouth goes dry, my head throbbing with the weight of the news. I find this unbelievable. I read the scroll once, then again, thinking this can’t be true, while the contents sink into my very being.
Greetings to the Emperor,
It is my unfortunate task to report to the emperor that one of Ming Qian Ju’s stolen paintings has finally surfaced at a pawn shop. The person trying to sell it is a part of Noble Consort Shao Wan’s household. Commander Bai Yi Bo requests that the emperor allow a search of her palace tomorrow. I request that this matter remain confidential, as it is of the most sensitive nature.
The scroll is snapped in half by my trembling hands. My hands shake too much to roll it back up because I’m so stunned. My emotions, not romantic love, are what’s truly being tested in this trial.
People do look as they act. Inner ugliness can indeed mar one’s outer beauty. Shao Wan is a perfect example of that concept. I used to find her beautiful, even sometimes delightful, but my feelings for my Noble Consort have gone cold. Nevertheless, she is still the mother of two of my daughters. After what she did to Yueli, I saved her face by not sending her to the cold palace or demoting her for the sake of our daughters. I’d envisioned and hoped for a quiet life for her in her palace, but her actions are leaving me no choice.
Sentencing someone to death is a complicated and serious task. It will burden my heart. However, if she is involved in Min Qian Ju’s death, I will have to make a judgment and give a punishment, even though I didn’t want to. I don’t want to harm my second wife, who is the mother of my daughters and my former lover, though I can no longer remember her positive qualities because her jealous and despicable actions have eclipsed them.
It might be wise if Yueli weren’t around tomorrow, as I fear such news about her friend would be too much for her to handle at this late stage of her pregnancy.
“Mother is most wise,” I say, hiding my turmoil. She glances up at me, smiling because I rarely call her mother anymore. “Maybe it would be good for Yueli to visit Min Qian Ju’s grave as empress dowager suggested. A walk and being around her friends might be just what she needs. I’ll send word to Jinghua to escort her there. I will feel better knowing he is with her.”
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Bai Yi Bo~
His wife and unborn child’s deaths were terrible enough, but having to tell Qing Yuan that his sister and his father might be involved with his wife’s murder might be the most challenging task I’ve had to carry out since I joined the bureau. It is pure cowardice when I feel relieved that he’s not home.
“I’m sorry, Commander Bai, but young Lord Shao has left for the day, and he didn’t mention when he would be back. It’s the late madam’s 49th day. I was told he and fourth prince were escorting the empress to Madam Min and her child’s gravesite.” The servant tells me and asks if I’d like to leave a message.
I don’t recognize this new member of his household, but I did hear that Qing Yuan recently replaced most of his staff, which surprised me since they have been serving him since he was a child. Some went back to his grandfather, but it’s also understandable that some didn’t want to continue working in a home that’s become infamous for an unsolved murder. Some are superstitious enough to consider this manor an ominous place now.
“Perhaps it’s better this way. I’ll stop by again tomorrow.” I reply, turning to leave, but I spin around, remembering my father had played chess with Qing Yuan a few days prior and left his favorite pipe behind. I didn’t know my father favored one pipe over another, but he rarely asks me for anything.
“My father left his pipe here the other day when he and Qing Yuan played chess,” I say sheepishly when the servant smiles at me, nodding. “My father asked if I was near to collect it for him.”
The servant opens the gate and expresses his honor in meeting the grand general and serving him tea. He asks if I want him to get the pipe. I suggest that it might be better if I get it myself. He seems relieved because going into the master’s quarters without permission is not something a servant wants to do. If something were to go missing or get damaged, it could affect his livelihood.
It shouldn’t surprise me. Qing Yuan’s study reflects his carefree nature and eclectic demeanor. The clutter that fills the room is overwhelming. The sight of piles of books scattered on the floor adds to the chaotic atmosphere. As I approach his desk, the mess of scattered papers catches my eye. Still, my father’s pipe rests neatly at the head of the desk, its polished surface shining, which tells me Qing Yuan cleaned it for him, which makes me chuckle at the irony of him cleaning the pipe to a high shine amidst the chaotic surroundings.
As I reach out to pick up the pipe from the desk, my elbow accidentally taps the pile of papers, causing them to shift and cascade to the floor. The top sheet is blank, but as the others come into view, I’m greeted by a series of drawings depicting a woman. I quickly avert my gaze, not wanting to invade Qing Yuan’s privacy. I never intended to rummage through his belongings, and I now regret entering his study when he isn’t home.
However, my attention is drawn to a faded old handkerchief that is partially sticking out of one drawer. The thin, yellowed fabric shows its age, but what truly captures my interest is the embroidered image of a single daisy. It stops me in my tracks, as I instantly recognize it as one of A-li’s. I’m crossing a line, but I can’t resist opening the drawer completely. The contents were shocking, yet a part of me had suspected him from the start.
I see a dragon ink that was taken from Min Qian Ju’s murder scene inside the top drawer, and in the other drawers, like the ones on his desk, are sketches. Hundreds of the same woman. I realize they are depictions of my sister. Some drawings depict her as a young girl in the palace, up in a tree, while others are more recent and feature explicit nudes of her with closed eyes, which makes me think he was watching her sleep. However, what confuses me the most is the sketches of her looking tired and thin, reminiscent of when she first joined our household as Meihua. She is shown squatting by a river, doing mundane tasks like washing clothes and feeding chickens in the old Guo Wang’s courtyard.
I feel bile rising in my throat. Sickness washes over me. It’s hard to understand what I see, but one thing is clear: A-li shouldn’t be with Qing Yuan. I think it is highly likely that he killed his wife, and it seems he is and has been obsessed with A-li.
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Qing Yuan~
Fifteen years ago
“Your only task is to stay close to the fourth prince. I want to know who he meets, what he eats, and what he does!” My father screams in my face, shaking me until my head spins. “Qing Yuan, you killed your mother and serve no purpose in this life. I’m giving you a chance to prove to me that you deserve to be a Shao! Look at your meimei! She’s engaged to marry the crown prince.”
My father despises my tears. I must suppress them. “Father, the fourth prince is my friend. Jinghua is a genuine friend. I no longer wish to spy on him or the Grand General. Please, father.” He responds with a hard slap, his ring cutting my lip. I lick the metallic taste of blood.
“Father, I don’t want to spy..” His hand, hot and spicy, on my face, cuts me off.
He grabs me, shakes me, and throws me to the ground. Then he leaves, as if I’m worthless. He discards the trash as soon as he can’t see me. I can’t hold back my sobs any longer. They come out ragged and loud. I sit on the ground, crying and praying he won’t return. If he finds me crying, he’ll do something much worse than slap me. Suddenly, someone taps my shoulder. I jolt up in fear, only to see a little girl.
It’s Little Princess Yueli. Everyone knows who she is.
I wipe my face on my sleeve. She looks up at me, studying me. We stare at each other, not saying anything. She pulls a handkerchief from her pocket. She reaches up and gently wipes the blood from my lips. Her eyes are full of kindness for her age. Her sweet smile makes me smile too, despite everything.
She says, “I was hiding in my tree, trying to avoid my nanny. I didn’t mean to watch, but I saw everything. I want you to know that your father is wrong. You are important and you matter. I think it’s great that you don’t want to spy on Jinghua or my father.” She touches, caressing my cheek with her palm with a tenderness I’ve been starving for and not felt before, and says, “Don’t believe it when people say mean things or insult you. They don’t see what I see. Qing Yuan, you’re special. I think it was fated for us to meet today, and I’m glad it happened.”
There are talks she’s going to be the next empress, but I can’t help myself. I lower my gaze shyly and mumble, too embarrassed to look at her. “I’ve had no one say those things to me before.” I slowly lift my eyes until we stare at each other and speak hesitantly, “You’ll probably forget meeting me, but I won’t forget you ever. I know I’m not of your status, but Princess Yueli, is it ok if I like you?”
“Sure, if you want to.” She answers. She leans toward me on her tiptoes until her face is just inches from mine. She says, “I won’t ever forget you, Qing Yuan, because I think we were bound to meet.”