Absolution
Bai Qian had once longed to be a solitary stone within Mo Yuan’s secluded cave. In her daydreams, she was a still, unbreathing stone with him. That’s how much she longed to be near her revered master.
As a young disciple, she eagerly waited for hours at the entrance of the cave, undeterred by the discomfort of prolonged kneeling on the cold, hard, unforgiving ground or the biting cold weather. The numbness, tingling, and blue extremities she experienced due to the frosty weather were inconsequential.
Her actions did not go unnoticed by her senior disciples. They declared she was being bothersome and unruly, and reprimanded her for interrupting Shifu’s solitude, reminding her that her behavior would only delay his progress. Despite their constant warnings, she persisted in finding reasons to linger about.
She dallied, prolonging all her tasks—like sweeping around the cave or caring for the golden lotus—to be close to Mo Yuan and beat everyone else to be the first.
She wanted to be the first person he saw after healing and enlightenment. She listened for when he cleared his throat, ending his meditation. Then she would rush to him with fresh tea. She would offer him the tea in his bedchamber, where she cleaned daily and replaced the flowers while he was absent.
There had been moments when she was convinced he did it for her, stepping out of his meditation early, knowing she was waiting. Because Mo Yuan’s reappearances in her life began in his secluded cave, it was a sacred and wondrous place.
Xuan Nu’s evil spirit had corrupted his hallowed ground. She possessed him in the white palace, controlling him and forcing him to act against his goodness. She provoked him to lose his virtues. He had been torn between his own identity and her insidious influence. She tainted his pure mind with her filthy spirit.
To save her, Mo Yuan had risked too much.
Bai Qian accepted the responsibility for it all. The blame fell on her. Her self-centered desire for revenge started the destructive process. They had been willing participants. However, she, as the sole architect of this toxic Baofu, invited them to dance on the edge of the executioner’s sword.
She would be the one to end it.
During the last two weeks of her mortal trial as Yueli, she had dreamt of the girls every night and heard their cries. Bai Qian had sensed they were in trouble on Kunlun Mountain the moment she woke up inside her fox den in Qingqui.
Xuan Nu’s reappearance was not as surprising as it should have been. Sometimes, she sensed a presence when it was just Mo Yuan and her.
What was alarming and astounding to hear was that Xuan Nu was unaffected by Zhe Yan’s soul-shattering spell, considering he was one of the most ancient gods. Despite her power, she remained in the same place where she was discovered.
This raised intriguing questions: Did Xuan Nu choose to stay there? Were her powers connected to the seclusion cave, or were it the Kunlun disciples’ seals, or another reason?
What was unequivocal: Her demon spirit had become significantly more powerful after she died.
Zhe Yan explained that A-li was the one who discovered her here hundreds of years ago. Initially, she couldn’t speak or see until he fed her his blood.
Now, she can do both.
Her nourishment comes from blood, logical since she had been hiding in the rubies made of her heart’s blood. However, this means that Xuan Nu had tasted Bai Qian’s, the triplets’ blood (since she was pregnant), Ye Hua’s (as he is their father), and of course, A-li’s.
It was a dynamic cocktail mixed with Mo Yuan’s elite cultivation.
The rubies aren’t her true form. I’m unsure if she has a body. This may seem like an advantage, but it’s the contrary. We have no target. There’s nothing for us to strike or harm.
Her makeup is energy, and energy can’t be destroyed. Its form is not static. What shape will she take on next? Will she possess and release Qing Cang while Ye Hua and Mo Yuan are on their mortal trials?”
The rarity made this an extraordinary sight. The usually composed Zhe Yan wore his concerns like a heavy cloak, visible in the tired lines etched on his face as if it had seeped into every pore of his furrowed forehead. The wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were new.
The weight of his self-blame aged him further. He condemned himself for not thinking things through. He confessed to being muddle-headed after he saw his Ying’er bleeding and quickly let Changchang share her dragon life force to heal her twin. Now, he fears that letting Changchang and Ying’er exchange blood was a terrible mistake. He undeservedly and intensely criticized himself for the girl’s dangerous situation.
When Zhe Yan questioned what Xuan Nu wanted, Bai Qian scoffed at the obvious. “Me,” she said.
Bai Qian~
With each step, a slow, dragging sound fills the dimly lit cave. The coolness of the smooth stone walls sends a shiver down my spine as I carefully trace their surface. As I retrace my steps, my fox nails tap against the walls, creating a steady beat that resonates within this sacred space. The rat-a-tat-tat rat-a-tat-tat of my nails against the stone echoes.
Everyone outside tried to stop me and block my way. Insisting I wait for Ye Hua or Mo Yuan, but they can’t understand that the mother in me can’t endure any hesitation.
My most valued possessions—my children—are in danger from a demon, a pestilence I failed to eliminate years ago.
“XUAN NU!” I bellow into the cavernous emptiness, my voice reverberating off the rough stone walls and returning to me in a symphony of echoes.
As I walk in a steady rhythm, the sound of my footsteps thumps against the cave floor, each step echoing throughout the chamber. With each stride, I pound my fist against the cold, unyielding walls, feeling the vibrations travel up my arm.
Stillness.
My invitation remains unanswered by her. It seems banging on the walls is not enough to stir her awake. I know what she wants. She is as greedy as ever. She wants to feed.
My sharp fox fingernail easily slices through my palm; the pungent smell of blood fills the air. The sight before me is captivating, a mesmerizing scene that unfolds with each passing second. Blood gushes from my injury; crimson beads trace my hand’s contours like gleaming streams, mesmerizing my morbid fascination.
The vibrant color of the blood causes the steady thrumming of my heart to quicken, its rhythm echoing in my ears. I hope it has the same effect on the demon queen.
“XUAN NU!”
Clapping like thunder, the deafening roar of my voice reverberates, bouncing off the towering walls of the cavern. The feeble glow from the candles barely illuminates the somber cave, where I randomly trace crimson streaks across the icy stone, leaving behind a stained trail for her to follow.
Suddenly, a crackle saturates the air. A chilling gust of wind rushes in, messing my hair and causing my skirt to dance around my legs. It carries an earthy dankness, permeating the air with a putrid stench that evokes ghastly visions of decay and dead things with their eyes falling out of their sockets.
The repugnant stench assaults my senses, leaving an indelible mark.
She is here. I sense the ominous spirit of the demon queen stirring awake, roused by the essence of my life. Her energy, like delicate whispering tendrils, flows around me, leaving lingering sensations like fire ant bites where it touches.
“Enough of these games, Xuan Nu. Come out!”
I cover the cave’s distance with my long strides, cutting across until I am standing in the center, in the eye of her storm. The energy of the Demon Queen swooshes and swirls around me frantically, creating a whirlwind of dark power.
She has the strength to move, yet she remains mute. Is she teasing me? Is she trying to make a dramatic entrance? That would be fitting for her, or wait… I close my eyes in deep concentration, trying to read the pulsating feeling surrounding me, similar to a throbbing heartbeat. Hunger.
Her unsatiated hunger is palpable. It appears my offering has not yet satisfied her.
Without hesitation, I swiftly slice open my second palm, matching the first with seamless precision. As I extend both hands towards her, a vivid scarlet cascade of blood emerges, creating rivulets that meander through the intricate lines of my palms. The foul odor of a sinister aura makes my stomach roll.
The crimson fluid pools in my palms, forming deep maroon reservoirs that brim with an unsettling intensity. It overflows, trickling between my fingers like scarlet tears, splattering onto the ground below with a soft patter.
The palpable energy of the demon queen envelops me, pulsating with an electric fervor. It feels as though she hovers at my shoulder, her presence looming as she twitches anxiously and absentmindedly scratches herself, anticipation radiating from her.
She is an addict in need of a fix: my life force, my blood, my face, me. I’m Xuan Nu’s drug of choice.
Her communication is a ghostly whisper. “Hello, whore. Where’s Mo Yuan, my favorite puppet? I miss his rittle face.”
Xuan Nu~
Well, if it isn’t everyone’s beloved, Gugu.
It’s been a while since she and I had a chat. Look at her standing without a sign of tension in her confident posture, not a single gesture of nervousness on her features. How can she be this haughty, so full of herself, when we both know she’s a whore?
“Gugu, do you still wear my name?” A shriek tossed in the wind is my voice.
Her hands, once relaxed, now grip tightly, feeling the intense pressure building in the air. As I inch closer, the sparkling energy envelops us, creating a powerful wind tunnel that roars. The gusts toss her long, black hair, whipping it across her face and sending it flying forward, an untamed cascade of ebony exposing the nape.
It’s still there!
I have left a lasting impression on Gugu’s brand, much like a branded cow. 璇 Xuan. It’s still there! HAHAHAHAHA!
If I had a head, a wide grin would stretch across my face, broad enough to wrap around my head thrice. I imagine Mo Yuan and Ye Hua in the heat of the moment, their lustful gazes fixed upon my glorious name as they used her, like a scorned lover seeking revenge.
“Xuan Nu?” Gugu says, exasperated. She runs her fingers through her silky hair. Boredom etches across her face, unchanged since we were young, as she tightly crosses her arms over her chest, the fabric of her gown slightly wrinkling under the pressure. “Cut to the chase,” she demands. “What do you want?”
What the hell? Look at this Gugu damn full of herself still. Awfully arrogant for the dirty rag she is.
The word “Dirty” escapes me in a low, venomous hiss, its sharp edges slicing through the still air. I watch as it tumbles to the ground, transforming into a slithering mass of obsidian serpents. Coiling and writhing in the dim light, the snakes’ scales glisten as they hiss and flick their forked tongues in a cacophony. Diiiirrtyyy..
Not even a blink. No reaction whatsoever? How anticlimactic. Gugu’s heart remains as hard as stone. Her tedium is clear as she sighs, her arms remaining crossed while she walks a small, listless circle.
I can practically smell her smugness as she taunts me. “Xuan Nu, I thought you had something interesting to say, considering all the theatrics, but nothing of significance. That shouldn’t surprise me. You were…suited to marry a bear spirit, but that wouldn’t have been fair to the bear.”
“Your mother should have married you to a dung beetle. Oh, wait.. You DID marry a dung beetle, Li Jing.” Gugu’s mocking laughter echoes through the air, a sharp and biting sound that pierces the stillness.
She stretches her arms wide, moving gracefully like a dancer as she summons a spell. Defensively, my demonic energy ball engulfs the scene with searing heat. Sweat beads on her brow, and the air becomes oppressively shimmering. I change the atmosphere abruptly. The intense heat turns into an icy blast, frosting every surface. The temperature drops sharply, accompanied by a sizzling and crackling sound.
My demon spirit rams into her, hitting Gugu with a force that takes her breath away. She coughs up blood. She gasps for air, her arms flying out as her body folds over in pain. She falls to her knees, sliding back on the icy ground, disoriented. Pausing briefly, she rises cautiously and uses the back of her hand to clean the blood from her mouth.
Why didn’t she duck? Why hasn’t she retaliated? Where’s her Jade Purity Fan? Or is she that stupid to face me without her magic?
“Where’s your magic? Where’s your fan?” My chilly breath covers and whitens her brows and eyelashes with a thin layer of snow.
As I exhale, a frosty mist envelops her, clinging to her skin and causing her to shiver. The walls, now transformed into a glistening sheet of ice, mirror our surroundings, amplifying the coldness of the atmosphere.
I move briskly around her, my ghostly presence conjuring frigid currents of air, ensuring she remains immobilized, while I search desperately for any trace of fox magic, yet find none.
“Did you think I would risk you possessing me and using my magic against me, or the ones I love?” She strains, barely gets out because of her chattering teeth.
Bai Qian~
Zhe Yan was correct. Xuan Nu is an unprecedented demon force. She effortlessly controls the elements with Ying’er’s magic, freely altering temperatures.
It appears that she can also utilize Changchang’s magic to read minds. I had a fleeting thought about her name branded on my skin, and she mentioned it moments later, as if she could read my mind. I suspect she’s doing it again, so I confront her.
“Your magic has improved a smidge. Though they are mere parlor tricks, they are still superior to what you had before.” I sarcastically clap, with delayed and halting booms.
When the cave suddenly becomes pitch dark without a sliver of light, I hold back a gasp. My heart races in my chest, throbbing from nerves. I reach out feeling disoriented when the cave becomes excessively bright, but I’m not on Kunlun Mountain anymore. I’m sitting on the bed in the Hall of Beautiful Youth.
“They won’t listen to me. I’m just a servant.” Nai Nai is crying at my feet. I collect the wetness from my face. The tear sits on the tip of my finger before it drops on my white dress and lands on my protruding belly.
I’m Susu, and this is the day Ye Hua took my eyes. I tell myself none of this is real. It’s one of Xuan Nu’s tricks, but the accuracy is terrifying.
The brightness of Nine Heavens. The heaviness of my pregnant body. The smell of incense. The sound of Nai Nai’s cries and my tears are exact as that day. Even my dress is white and flowing, featuring a polka-dotted sheer top layer.
I set my feet on the ground. As my bare feet grip the wood that feels the same, Ye Hua comes in solemnly. His eyes are red from crying. He kneels before me and takes both hands.
His sob breaks through his trembling voice. “Susu. The ominous aura around the terrace damaged Sujin’s eyes. They demand retribution. I must take your eyes, but from now on, I will be your eyes. I will be your eyes, and I will marry you here.”
His scent is one of sweat and apprehension. The smell of his fear oozes from his pores. The rustle of his clothes reaches me before his hands, bearing an icy blade, and then comes the shock. Senseless pain. The most unimaginable agony. He is carving my eyes out of my sockets. Paralyzed by sheer terror, I hear the tendons attached to my eyes snapping.
This is the sound of Ye Hua tearing out my eyes.
This is a trick of Xuan Nu’s.
Although I am aware of this, my body convulses, sweats, drenches me, and tightens up, with A-li kicking strongly from within my stomach just like on that day. I had forgotten to save my mind, but now I remember he had kicked furiously as if he had felt the pain too, and the wetness.
It’s blood. I can smell it and feel it oozing from my hollow eye sockets down my cheeks, thickening on my face.
“Nai Nai, take good care of your mistress. Clean her well and change her clothes. Put this in her tea to help her sleep. I won’t be able to come for a while.” Ye Hua leaves, and Nai Nai is still sobbing hysterically with me.
Xuan Nu is cruel, just as she has always been. I am haunted by a recurring memory that feels like it is ripping me apart, similar to the feeling of severed eye tendons. Each time it plays, I recall something new.
When Ye Hua took my eyes, there had been cheery banter outside between Sujin’s uncles, discussing the fine banquet they were throwing for Ye Hua for his recent victory and Sujin’s marriage to him.
They were waiting to escort him, and when he appeared, their fading voices told me they had left together. Ye Hua dined and drank wine after tearing out my eyes.
It couldn’t have been easy for him. I should feel sympathy for Ye Hua. He must have struggled to be in that terrible position, but… why didn’t he hide Susu instead of taking my eyes?
Did he ever consider leaving me somewhere safe with my sight intact, and using his barrier shield to hide me? I could have given birth alone. Women have been doing it since the dawn of time. Stop this, Bai Qian. Don’t fall for her games!
“Did you like recalling that delightful moment from your life?” Xuan Nu is so smug, I could cut through it. “That Ye Hua did you dirty. Poor Gugu.”
She had not finished toying with me. It was Ye Hua. Now, like a bored cat with a mouse, she will use his twin, Mo Yuan, to torment me.
“My Precious?” Mo Yuan calls from behind. I remember this day as it stands out like Ye Hua took my eyes.
I’m standing in the candlelit bedroom that we once shared. He wraps his strong, muscular arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I can feel the warmth of his chest pressed against my back and his face nuzzling into my hair, his breath tickling my neck.
In a tender voice, he shares undesirable news. “Did you hear the news? Ye Hua has taken another concubine.”
I break free from his embrace to finish making the bed, ignoring the scroll he casually tossed on the bed.
It’s been a few depressing months since my sixth miscarriage. The girls have now reached the remarkable age of 100—toddlers who never stop moving or creating havoc.
My marriage is civil mainly, but there’s an underlying tension like a heavy storm cloud ready to burst.
After periods of seclusion, Mo Yuan seems to derive sick pleasure from provoking me; his gaze seems foreign, glinting with a cruel satisfaction when he hurts me. My heart, already fragile and broken, feels like a delicate pincushion, pricked relentlessly by his words and actions, leaving me raw and vulnerable.
Had I not felt coerced to marry Mo Yuan, things might be different; nevertheless, it’s my fault for not yielding fully to him. For my shortcomings, I accept the blame for causing him to anger. I deserve his cruelty.
He is resentful of my lingering feelings for Ye Hua. The continuous expansion of Ye Hua’s harem feels like a thorn in my side. My jealous animosity clouds my mind and coats my tongue with a bitterness that I can’t taste anything else.
It has been a never-ending pernicious cycle – I fall pregnant, and he marries another woman as we engage in a brutal, ongoing battle where we unintentionally and intentionally inflict pain on each other, from a distance.
I sense his volatile energy as a static charge. Mo Yuan is wound up and anxious. Such behavior is typical of him after his meditative seclusion. I detect it in his voice instantly, even though he was trying to sound relaxed, and, of course, he is trying to elicit a reaction from me. “I think the Master and Mistress of Kunlun Mountain should send a present to the Celestial Skylord and his newest bride for their marriage.”
He taunts me with an innocuous and pointed remark while studying my reactions. He wants to see me waver. Checking, he is constantly testing to see if my dedication to our marriage is as I claim. “They say he favors Yingpei. He might take A-li’s place as crown prince. He is trying for another baby with Dongmei, and this newest concubine also comes from a fertile lineage. She has close to a dozen siblings, all born to the same mother.”
I’m careful not even to sigh or blink, but I’m betrayed. My hand, smoothing over the blanket, comes to a stop. The pause is brief. Others wouldn’t have noticed. I try to seem not to be upset, but I feel like my skin has been turned inside out, raw, and he’s throwing salt on the open wound that is my being.
“We should beat him. Precious, did Zhe Yan say we could resume intimacy? We are going to try again, and this time, I feel confident you will have a live birth. That scroll was sent from Nine Heavens. It was addressed to you. Open it.” He says. With a shake of my head, I decline.
With a forceful gesture, he unfurls the scroll in my face. Mo Yuan slams the official wedding portrait onto the bed, causing the mattress to tremble. It’s the kind created for only highly celebrated weddings. It’s Ye Hua and his newest bride, dressed in ceremonial red. With a swift motion, Mo Yuan tears off my underclothing, exposing bare skin to the cool air.
He folds me over, spreads my legs, and takes me. His growl commands me to keep my eyes fixed on the groom’s picture, and I do. Not only because he instructed me to, but I couldn’t look away as the last glimmer of hope dimmed like a fading star.
The minutes turn into hours as time passes. Eventually, the dimming light fades to black, extinguishing the last flicker of hope.
First, Xuan Nu made me relive the day Ye Hua took my eyes, and now she’s making me repeat the day Mo Yuan killed my hope. Like before, the details are alarming.
The bed rhythmically sways, moving in sync with each demanding thrust. When his thigh strikes mine, it sounds like a slap, mirroring how my body feels – like it’s being slapped. With each deep penetration, my body lurches forward, causing a throbbing sensation inside my womb, my intestines, and my head. He taunts me with Ye Hua’s wedding details, forcing himself deeper into me with his hand pinning my head near the wedding portrait.
I keep reminding myself that this isn’t real. The bedroom scene with Mo Yuan vanishes as suddenly as it materialized.
“Gugu, wasn’t that good fun? You took quite the pounding, yet you never cried out while Shifu assaulted your organs. I truly enjoyed possessing Mo Yuan that day. Such rapturous times the three of us had.”
The still air in the cave becomes heavy with the scent of sulfuric decay from Xuan Nu’s demonic presence. Her dark presence hums through the walls. “This isn’t real, you say? Thou hast little faith. Feel between your legs, Gugu.”
She knows my thoughts. I pause and feel the swelling between my legs from prolonged sexual activity. Warm semen runs down my leg. A-li’s magic, passed down from his paternal grandfather, the creator of all living things, lets her materialize her thoughts. She uses my children’s magic for amusement.
Xuan Nu isn’t dangerous. This entity is destructive, wielding unprecedented magic, and being incorporeal, it is impossible to destroy. I must trap her in a form to kill her.
Xuan Nu~
Although I controlled Mo Yuan, his Yang, his masculine energy tethered me to Kunlun, and he’d occasionally break free, making my control unreliable. Bai Qian is the ideal vessel for my soul.
With all this newfound magic, I would be invincible. I could bring back and birth my child from my womb. My love for Li Jing is best shown by bearing him a son, a fact he’d recognize.
I will release my father-in-law. He disapproved of me and had whipped me when I married Li Jing. The great Qing Cang would make for a perfect hunting dog. My hound was to eliminate Mo Yuan and any celestial that got in my way.
All eight wildernesses and four seas would submit to me as their demon queen. The ancient clans would kowtow to the true gods, the demons.
All I need is her willingness for me to possess her. I must erase her spirit and replace it with mine. There has to be a chink in her armour. Delving into Bai Qian is a blissful experience as I uncover her secrets and vulnerabilities. Finding a single word hidden within the labyrinth around her heart excites me like a fox in a hen house. Broken.
“Broken,” I hiss, my demon tongue slithering across the damp ground, leaving a glistening trail of moisture in its wake.
The surrounding iciness transforms into a murky swamp, the air becoming steamy and heavy with the scent of earth and the subtle fishiness of the wet frogs. Their bulbous bodies rest on their haunches, their wide mouths gaping open and closing with a rhythmic sound that resonates through the air.
The croaks of the bullfrogs divide the word “Bro-ken” into two profound syllables, “BROOO-KEN,” their deep voices reverberating in the stillness.
Amidst this marshy scene, Bai Qian stands amid the sea of frogs. As I watch her keenly, a single glistening teardrop runs down her cheek, the sight filling me with a rush of euphoria. It is the first tear I have ever witnessed, a rare vulnerability from someone I have known since our teenage years.
Bai Qian~
“You’re broken. Once broken, never the same. You defy repair.”
She uses Changchang’s telepathy to get into my mind, and her words shape my very thoughts.
Others have hurt you, but you have hurt yourself the most. You feel ashamed of loving two men, leaving your son A-li, and not going back for him. This has made you feel unworthy of everyone, so you, Bai Qian, have ruined yourself completely.”
There it is.
Xuan Nu, the demon queen, confronts me with my own demons.
This is my undeniable truth. I love and want both Mo Yuan and Ye Hua, which is pure greed. I can’t forgive myself for leaving my son A-li. I should have returned for my son the moment I awoke in Zhe Yan’s orchard, but I didn’t, because I was too self-involved and only thought of my own feelings and needs.
This shame, guilt, and remorse have tainted me, rendering me dirty. I broke myself and became unfit for anyone, leaving me to wonder if this Baofu was against myself.
“Bai Qian, I feel for you? I could help to relieve you of some pain.”
Xuan Nu suggests to my consciousness.
“I don’t enjoy harming children, even yours. Your twins are hanging between life and death. They will remain as the sleeping beauties they are, so I have a suggestion that is mutually beneficial. You owe your son A-li a debt. Settle your debt to your A-li by granting my son life. I have seen your compassion. Give my child the breath of life.”
My silent cry turns into faint sobs. My tears are mirrored in every surrounding surface. “I’ll give you due credit. It seems you excel in something I’m not as skilled at. Your maternal love, which I have lacked, moves me, Xuan Nu. I will not only save, but also birth your child and raise it as my own as a prince.”
“Gugu is a mother, so you understand the rapture of childbirth. Show your mercy. Help me experience this joy just once, and then I will be at peace. I will release your precious girls, then disperse and disappear forever.”
My voice was barely a whisper. In what is probably the most honest statement I’ve ever made, I say, “My children are the best parts of me.”
Fresh, hot tears fall as I’m consumed by my love for my children. “Promise to release my girls and harm none of them again? No deceit. You must swear to leave my body after our child is born.”
“Trust me, Gugu.” Xuan Nu’s voice echoes in my head. “I will free your precious twins. I will leave your body after my child is born. I swear this on my soul. Let me in.”
The room feels heavy with an eerie silence, broken only by the faint sound of my breath. “For my girls.” A wave of acceptance washes over me, causing a whimper to escape my lips. “I grant you permission. Come inside me, Xuan Nu.”
The dark energy she exudes around me causes a frenzy, making the air crackle and hiss. I can taste and smell her anticipation. With trembling hands, I gather the neckline of my dress, the fabric cool against my fingertips. Revealed beneath the fabric, the scar over my heart pulses faintly, a reminder of past wounds.
As I roughly reopen the scar, a sudden burst of light catches my attention. I lift my gaze, and there, above my head, a radiant red mass materializes. It hovers momentarily before dissolving into a shower of tiny blood rubies, their vibrant hue reflecting off the surrounding surfaces. Like a swarm of tiny fireflies, they dance and twirl around me, creating a captivating path before plunging into the open wound above my heart.
I fall to my knees, snarling in intense agony. My body is surging with pain, causing my hands to curl into claws. My sharp fox nails dig into my palms. The blackness from the very ground seeps into my white dress, making it lose its pristine whiteness. It turns grey, revealing the profound shift happening within me.
Xuan Nu’s demon spirit takes control, her presence engulfing me. Her darkness spreads, inching its way up my limbs that feel as if they’re being torn from my torso, as my nails elongate like talons and transform into a deep crimson hue reminiscent of fresh blood. My reflection in the reflective walls shows my features twisting and distorting as Xuan Nu takes over.
And then, her voice emerges, a haunting echo, as she speaks through me, her words a chilling reminder of the powerful force now inhabiting my being. “Gugu, you’re still so naive. I lied about leaving your body. This body is mine forever.”
The sound of her laughter is like that of one hundred cawing ravens. Her broad smiles and a disturbing grin accompany her wild cackles and shrieks.
“FINALLY! Xuan Nu live and Gugu dies! This face is mine! All mine!” She shrieks with exhilaration as my face becomes hers, as she’s always wanted.
Approaching a mirrored wall, Xuan Nu admires her reflection, turning her face side to side, stroking her cheek in wonder, and uses my fox magic. She transforms into perfect replicas of every person I’ve ever met, but swiftly and continuously. This must be Yingpei’s magic.
My consciousness is fading as she takes over me. However, she is blinded by her euphoria and doesn’t realize I still have fragments of Bai Qian left. I reach into the folds of my dress and grasp something forgotten, hard, cold, and dangerous – a weapon made with love but designed to kill.
Ye Hua’s dragon scale was used to make a knife for my protection.
The blade’s glossy luster reminds me of my children’s silken hair. The bamboo leaf shape reminds me of their eyes full of wonder and innocence.
I hope you will understand. I do this to protect all of you.
This dragon scale blade will taste blood for the first and last time to ensure my children’s safety. A-li, Changchang, Changying, and Yingpei, my children, beautiful, innocent, and perfect. Their faces appear in my mind, inspiring pride, courage, and the determination to follow through.
Xuan Nu roars, screaming with my mouth, “YOU TRAPPED ME ON PURPOSE!” She continues, but she is pleading, trying to reason, “If you kill me, you’ll die too! You can’t be that stupid! YOU TOO WILL DIE!” Her shrill voice, like a blaring siren, provokes, and the blade finds its intended target, the heart… my heart.
“Be careful. When one seeks Baofu, they should dig two graves.” Mo Yuan said to me.
Why didn’t I listen to him?
I didn’t listen because broken things can’t hear.
I am sullied.
I abandoned my child.
I loved two men, yet still…
I am worthy of absolution.
I forgive myself.
I truly forgive myself.
I free myself, and I take a demon down with me.
When Bai Qian ended her life to vanquish the demon queen, the ancient mountain made of dragon bones trembled and roared.
The Kunlun bells clanged noisily, so that all eight wildernesses and four seas heard the ringing. The sea of innocence didn’t claim her because her body was never recovered. All that remained were her clothes and a cave full of peach blossom petals.