Slow Burn
She sets her brush down across the ornate bronze phoenix-shaped inkwell. Out of her many talents, Min Qian Ju’s calligraphy is exquisite. Even the emperor, who seldom gives such recognition; Jingyuan publicly described her writing as works of art.
The receiving room, suffused with warmth from the many braziers, is enveloped in the distinct aroma of freshly brewed ink, infusing every breath I take. As she lifts the silk scroll with soft exhales, she carefully she blows on the ink, coaxing it to dry more swiftly. Then, with utmost care, she hands me the scroll to be put in the pile with the rest of the list that seems to have no end.
This list includes families who have made generous donations to greet the emperor. Very few people have the tremendous opportunity and honor of seeing him. Jingyuan enjoys meeting people from all backgrounds, but his busy schedule running the dynasty leaves him with little time. Hence, his time is precious and I appreciate his attentiveness to my great cause.
This school’s open house, like the others, is deliberately timed. I want to meet personally and interview our people to fully grasp their living situations. In the eleventh month of the year, as winter intensifies, the struggles of those lacking essentials worsen in the freezing cold. Heightening the sense of desperation among our subjects. All the funds raised through these donations will be directed back to the people in need, primarily through initiatives such as the schools, health clinics, shelters, and clothing and food banks set up all over the capital.
“Jiejie, I’m so grateful for your help. May the Gods bless you with a smooth delivery for your efforts today.” I say.
I marvel at the sheer effort and skill that has gone into its creation. I could have written them personally, but my wrist aches at the thought of enduring such a monumental project. With over one thousand names inscribed on the silk scrolls with such grace, this was no ordinary task. Min Qian Ju’s penmanship is truly a sight to behold. Each stroke of her brush is a work of art, transforming the list into a thing of beauty worthy of its purpose.
“We kissed. That’s it.” I tell her when she wants a detailed recount of my evening with Jingyuan.
Min Qian Ju’s jaw drops, disbelieving, staring at me: “What?!”
“I swear that’s all we did.” I shrug my shoulders, thinking if she only knew his kisses were so intense that if I weren’t pregnant, I might have gotten pregnant just from them. My breath quickens, and I can still remember the feeling of his lips on mine.
I broke the empress dowager’s second rule by falling in love with my emperor husband. Finally, I confessed my feelings to Jingyuan. My heart had raced as I overcame my fear and spoke my truth.
A part of me wanted him to make love to me in the scented bathtub, surrounded by rose petals and the rippling water. I was trembling with desire for him, and my flushed skin reflected my excitement and fear. Every nerve in my body had tingled with vulnerability as I struggled between craving closeness and fearing the consequences.
He seemed to have sensed my hesitation. Instead of making love, we had found ourselves in bed, entangled in each other’s arms, legs, and hair, the warmth of our bodies creating an intimate cocoon. It all started with a kiss, a kiss that seemed to have no end.
His lips, soft and tender, gently brushed against mine, igniting a spark that quickly grew into a fiery passion. With each passing moment, his kisses became more intense, filled with desire and longing. His mouth explored every inch of mine, nibbling and teasing, pulling my lips into his, creating a magnetic connection.
The intertwining of our tongues sparked waves of exquisite pleasure, leaving me breathless and ablaze. We had kissed until we fell asleep in each other’s arms, completely lost in the moment.
The next day, as the sun beamed brightly through the curtains, I opened my eyes, expecting to see his face still lingering close to mine. However, I was greeted with an empty bed. He had left while I was still asleep. Not because he was sneaking out of my palace, but simply because I had overslept almost until noon. A first for me since becoming empress.
“I told you I wouldn’t lie.” I blush in a way that is very unlike me, demure. I point out the state of my swollen mouth. “See how puffy my lips are and this rash?” I say, gesturing to my mouth, then lower the collar of my dress to reveal my bare neck. “That’s from his mustache and beard rubbing on me.”
Min Qian Ju looks at my mouth and neck skeptically. She rolls her eyes at me and picks up the brush again, dipping it in the inkwell.
She grumbles. “Five years without intimacy and a drunken night leading to your pregnancy. You finally tell him how you feel and all you did was exchange a kiss. How anticlimactic, but I have a question?”
“Considering they are twins, how alike are Jinghua and Jingyuan’s kisses?”
She wants to know if they kiss the same.
I lean back, closing my eyes as I delve into the memories of kissing Jinghua. The image of his lips, soft and inviting, dances in my mind. The touch of his lips pressed against mine was like a firecracker imploding in my face, like being caught in a blazing inferno and burned to a crisp.
Jingyuan’s kiss, on the other hand, is a slow-burn. A gradual flicker, building up like a smoldering ember. It started with a gentle warmth, a flickering flame that swept upon my skin, sending shivers down my spine. As his lips engulfed mine, the heat intensified, consuming every inch of my being.
It may sound unbelievable, but Jinghua’s kisses were so intense that I felt they could be fatal. Every time our lips met, it was a risky game, a thrilling blend of ecstasy and danger, teetering on the brink of life and death.
In contrast, not receiving a kiss from Jingyuan might feel like a slow death, a longing that gnaws at my soul and threatens to consume me from within.
“No, not the same.” I whisper, still feeling Jingyuan’s lips on mine, losing myself in a daydream. Min Qian Ju wonders about the similarity in their approach to making love. I don’t envision Jingyuan and Jinghua having identical sexualities.
Jinghua and I always had a raw, primal connection. A simple look could sometimes set our passions ablaze, making us seek seclusion wherever, whenever. I think back to the times; we had to stop the horses to relieve our incessant needs for each other. We made love out in the open as much as we did behind closed doors.
Poor Qing Yuan. We must have been terrible to be around back then.
We made beautiful sacred love, but we also fucked with abandonment as if our very lives depended on it.
Jinghua was incredibly skilled and absolutely devilish in bed. He might have spoiled me for other men, making it hard to appreciate anyone else. That he was my first lover, who explored and possessed every part of my body. It could be seen as more of a bane than a boon, leaving me uncertain about finding that same pleasure again, and that magnitude of love was dangerous. It almost killed me when I lost it.
A cool touch on my forehead breaks me from my lustful memories. “Why is your face so red suddenly?” Min Qian Ju reaches and touches my forehead. “I think you might be feverish or coming down with something?”
“It’s nothing.” I brush her hand away, feeling unnerved and embarrassed, more than a little ashamed that I’m thinking about Jinghua at a time like this.
Little Min tells us the emperor and noble consort Shao are approaching my courtyard. The emperor has ordered me to stay inside the palace; they are coming and I’m not to wait outside in the cold.
“Wonderful. How I hate her face. I didn’t know I would have the pleasure of seeing that despicable woman Shao Wan today,” Min Qian Ju gripes angrily and sarcastically.
We take our places. I stand next to Min Qian Ju, who is looking as perfect as usual with her pearls.
The doors open, bringing the air outside in, so I smell her heavy perfume before she enters my receiving chamber. Noble Consort Shao is dressed like she’s attending a festival rather than a midday walk. There are so many gold hairpins and combs in her hair, I’m shocked her neck can support the weight. She’s holding onto Jingyuan’s left arm with one hand, looking pompous. The other resting on her rounded stomach, which stuck out more from her, swayed her lower back.
“Greetings to the emperor and noble consort Shao,” I respectfully address them as they enter the room. My greeting is echoed as Min Qian Ju and the servants follow my lead.
With a small nod, Jingyuan acknowledges our greeting before his eyes quickly glance at the busy table, showing him what we’ve done this afternoon.
Noble consort displays her elegant manners only because Jingyuan is with her. As she dramatically prepared to curtsey, I intervened, remembering her pregnancy.
“Please, noble consort, there is no need to strain yourself. Your well-being and the wellbeing of the emperor’s child are of utmost importance,” I kindly advise her.
Though false and for show, Shao Wan warmly smiles, acknowledging my thoughtfulness. She fawns over Emperor Jingyuan, hoping for approval, pretending to admire me despite her intense hatred that is profound enough. She poisoned and killed one of my children while he was in my womb. She may think I’ve forgotten or even forgiven her, but revenge is best served cold.
She owes me a life debt. I always collect my debts. She’s lucky I’m not as wicked as her. I would never harm an innocent child.
“Emperor, do you not agree that our empress is truly kind and benevolent?” she inquires with a pretense of admiration, her rouged lips curling into a forced smirky smile.
“Indeed,” Emperor Jingyuan responds, offering me a subtle smile that conveys his approval.
Meanwhile, Noble Consort Shao casts a sly, smug smile in my direction, followed by a fleeting glance towards her brother’s wife, Min Qian Ju. It becomes evident that there is an underlying tension between the two women, as their conversation remains superficial, filled with polite but insincere pleasantries.
Amidst their exchange, Emperor Jingyuan hands me a thick, closed binder; he tells me it’s a list detailing the books he has generously donated to the school. He instructs me to go to the imperial book reservoir. With a swift and graceful exit, the emperor and noble consort leave the room, mirroring the swiftness with which they entered. We close the doors against the draft after watching them go.
“Meimie, you know how I detest Jinghua, but I don’t think you should invest your affections in Jingyuan, either. He is your legal husband, but he’s so dull and stuffy.”
“The two of you are married. You’ve just confessed your love for him, but that was like a business meeting when he gave you a task to do with his other wife in tow. I feel sorry for you. Where is the passion?!” She shouts, but her rant comes to an abrupt end when I open the notebook Jingyuan gave me.
Out of season peach blossoms, vibrant and delicate, gracefully cascade from inside the compartment of the fake book, creating a shower of petals that gently kiss the ground. Intrigued, I bring the folder closer to my face, inhaling deeply the sweet, intoxicating fragrance that fills the air.
I snicker. Mirth and amusement fill my heart as I imagine the careful journey taken by Jingyuan to preserve these blossoms, protecting not a single petal was lost along the way. The book, now devoid of its original content, holds only a solitary page.
On that page, Jingyuan has etched an invitation.
“None of these petals can compare to the sweetness of your peach blossom lips. Meet me where the moon waxes in the daytime.”
I make an excuse to end the day early to handle the emperor’s errand. Min Qian Ju is more than eager to leave, afraid I might make her do more work. Little Min helps me fasten my cloak. Jingyuan has sent his carriage since the imperial library is in the northern palace outside of the harem. The imperial secretary is there to greet me. He has been expecting me. He tells me that the books Jingyuan is donating are ready for me to look over and approve. Then he leaves me alone.
There are places that only Jingyuan, Jinghua, and I possess the knowledge of these hidden nooks concealed from prying eyes. In our youth, we reveled in the thrill of exploration, stealthily navigating these secret realms. Our beloved grandfather, the revered royal emperor, harbored a mischievous spirit, yearning for respite from the burdens of his regal duties. Thus, he ingeniously crafted hidden sanctuaries throughout the palace.
One such sanctuary is behind a concealed wall, nestled within the heart of the book reservoir of the grand imperial library. How convenient. It’s behind the table full of books set out for my inspection.
Our grandfather, ever the visionary, had the ceiling made with translucent stones plucked from distant shores. Layers of diaphanous white silk, delicately draped over the ceiling, give the room a moon-like glow. It’s comfy inside with heated floors, heat that comes directly from the coals that heat the library, so even in the dead of winter, it’s warm enough to be undressed without the slightest bit of discomfort.
The room has curved walls. It’s round like a full moon. This is the only place in the palace where the moon waxes in the daylight. Although slightly smaller than I recall, it’s cozy.
As I turn my gaze towards Jingyuan, he stands there, his back facing me, his golden cloak shimmering in the light. With a sudden movement, he spins around, a bashful, boyish grin on his face. In his hands, he holds a handful of peach petals and playfully tosses them into the air, causing a gentle fluttering sound as they gracefully descend.
This moment stirs a blend of nostalgic fondness and new affection within me. I’ve come to realize that second love can be just as tender and beautiful as the first.
Jingyuan’s presence makes my heart pound, as if it’s never known heartache.
I run into his waiting embrace; his open arms are a welcoming sight. As he effortlessly lifts me off the ground, my feet dangle, leaving me weightless in his powerful grip. I tilt my head down, my gaze fixated on his lips, seeking solace in their softness. A mischievous snicker escapes my upward curved lips as his mustache playfully tickles my face, a stirring sensation that brings a smile to my face and delight to my heart.
The sweet scent of peach blossoms envelops us, delicate petals clinging to his clothes, adding a touch of nature’s beauty to our reunion. “I missed you,” I whisper, the words escaping between tender kisses. The bliss in his gaze upon hearing my words is indescribable, a radiant twinkle that illuminates the depths of his warm, sensitive brown eyes. In that moment, it feels as though I am seeing him for the first time.
My blindness is now lifted.
How have I never noticed before the profound love that his gaze conveys, a love that has always been there, waiting for me to see it?
We don’t need to whisper, but we do like sneaky children. “I have an idea, but empress must be open-minded,” he says, causing me to raise an eyebrow in curiosity.
I reply, suddenly feeling a sense of cantankerousness that he’s ruining the mood. “If you say something ludicrous, I’m going to rip your mustache off your face and slap you repeatedly.”
My threat is half-joking, leaning more on a threat than a joke, and the solemnity in my tone is unmistakable. I kick my legs and twist about until he puts me down, setting me on my feet. I plant my hands on my hips, leaning to one side, displaying my annoyance.
I don’t like the sound of “open-minded.”
My facial expression must speak volumes because Jingyuan suddenly looks afraid of me, his little eyes widening with a hint of fear.
“I’ve decided. I’ll be celibate for a while to deepen my Daoist practice.” Jingyuan tells me without a hint of trickery.
His earnestness has left me completely speechless. “Yueli, this is precedented. Our great, great, great grandfather stayed celibate for ten years while he was young. He likes me an heir already so..’
There’s little room to make space, but I must move away from him, turning my back and walking a short distance. I’m so angry I could punch him.
Is this his way of getting even with me for making him wait? I desire him in my bed now, and he plans to get dirty and vengeful with me by holding out on me sexually.
I knew it. These twins were sent on this planet to drive me insane.
What have I done to deserve this? Maybe I toyed with them in a past life?
“Empress, you will need to use contraception after you give birth. I don’t want to, but…” He stops mid-sentence when I spin around quickly, making him flinch. It’s possible he might think I’m going to hit him, judging by my hostile body language.
I bark. “You said you were going to abstain from carnal pleasures! Why do I need contraception? Are you giving me permission to have a lover?!”
Jingyuan gasps and scoffs. “Oh, you would like that, wouldn’t you? Perhaps someone like that Xianxiang King, who wears braids and beads in his hair like a woman. I heard he sent you a love letter!” He shakes his head. “You’re preposterous!”
“I want to be monogamous with you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. If you became pregnant, that would shatter the pretense of me being celibate.” Jinghua says.
As his words pierce through me, they feel like a sudden gust of wind, leaving me momentarily breathless and weak-kneed, my senses shaking. I’m swooning like I’m fifteen years old.
The term “monogamous” echoes in my mind, stirring me like a potent aphrodisiac and drinking too much wine. Kindling a fire within me and making me feel intoxicated all at once. The room spins around me. A dizzying sensation heightening my hunger and desire for him is unbearable.
I lunge and throw myself at him, my fingers clenching his dragon cloak’s collar. Our lips meet and collide, igniting a fiery passion, and the taste of him on my tongue sends shivers down my spine, bringing more wetness and heat between my thighs. The intensity of our kiss leaves him gasping for breath.
My impatient hands eagerly search for him, gliding swiftly through the soft folds of his coat and into the warmth of his pants, driven by an insatiable desire. I need to touch him because he’s mine. The sound of his deep groans bellows as my hand finally grasps his throbbing erection and begins to stroke it.
A hoarse moan escapes from his lips. “My love.. ” He gasps.
He draws me closer, my soft curves mold against his firm body before he lifts me off my feet. I quickly raise my dress, revealing myself to him. Then I wrap my bare legs around his defined midsection. He turns around and pushes me against the wall. The swollen head of his thick cock flickers and brushes against me teasingly.
“Please, don’t tease me,” I whimper with a thick, hoarse voice, shuddering in need.
As his gaze intensifies, his eyes darken with lust, drinking in the sight of my flushed face, illuminated by anticipation and desire. The heady scent of our arousal, making my senses dizzy and drunk from the smell of us. With a deliberate touch, he parts my drenched folds, causing a sharp gasp to escape my lips, the sound echoing in the room.
My body yielding to him without hesitation, without thought. White-hot energy explodes through me, coursing through my veins like lightning. As he pulls my body down onto his throbbing member in one smooth motion, the feeling is intense, exhilarating, and filling, leaving me reeling as if waves of pleasure crash against the shores of my senses.
The room seems to pulsate as our bodies become one in a seamless motion. I’m completely drenched. His pubic hair and mound are soaked through from my wetness. The intense moisture surrounding us enhances our intimate connection and blurs the boundaries between us.
“Yesssss,” I breathe out with pleasure as he satisfies the void that was causing such intense longing.
I could cry from the sensation of him stretching me from within.
My nipples respond, hardening and causing a sharp pain beneath the confines of my clothes. I unconsciously chew on my bottom lip, sensing the slight pain of my teeth piercing the delicate flesh, struggling to quiet my moans to no avail, alluring noises slipping out repeatedly. With each relentless thrust, the sound of our bodies colliding fills the room. As he pushes himself further, leaving me breathless and trembling, I throw my head back against the cool wall, which quakes from his forceful penetration.
In the small room, our ragged, panting breaths intertwine. The metallic sounds of his jade belt and prayer beads blend with the grunts, moans, and groans, creating a cacophony of noise. The sexual excitement grows as his hand moves between us. As the pad of his thumb presses against my clit and starts rubbing, I’m overwhelmed by the heightened sensitivity of my pregnant body.
My legs instinctively tighten around him, urging him to thrust harder. I breathe heavily, my mouth still locked with his. We swallow each other’s sounds of sexual bliss. Every muscle in my body tenses up, and I can no longer suppress the excessive pleasure building within me.
The silky fabric rips effortlessly, like paper in his hands, as he forcefully tears my dress open, exposing my bare skin and breasts. His warm breath meets the scent of anticipation. Pleasure courses through me as he takes my breasts into his mouth with greed and bites my sensitive nipples. A captivating mix of agony and ecstasy enthralls me, losing myself within him.
With each rhythmic movement, I feel him thickening inside me so much I fear he will tear me apart. His thumb, a skilled conductor of pleasure, continues its intricate movement, rendering me able to take all of him.
I’m overstimulated. He’s pushing me too far and much too soon, for I never want him to stop. Like a fierce wave, my climax hits me, exploding within me like a supernova. I completely unravel in that euphoric moment as I began to pulse around him.
My voice breaks free, loud and savage, releasing a passionate cry that mirrors my long-held desires. “Yes, yes, yes….Jingyuan..harder! Don’t stop!”
The low, guttural grunting sound of his desire intensified my arousal further. His thrusts become more forceful, penetrating deeper into me. With each movement, a raw, primal sound escapes his lips, filling the room. As he prepares to release himself inside me, his girth, his thickness, feels as if it has expanded. It feels incredibly full, yet exquisitely painful in the best way.
Our desires intertwine, building up to a crescendo of pure pleasure, overwhelming all senses. “Show me who I belong to.. Fill me…” I groan, hoarse and throaty in a voice that doesn’t sound like mine.
He growls, “Never forget you’re mine!” as I witness Jingyuan’s climax unravel intensely, making me from within with our eyes locked in a passionate gaze, a moment of shared connection.
The quiet moments after our passionate encounter calmed our hearts and eased our breathing.
“My Shíqī, thank you for giving yourself to me like that,” he utters, panting heavily. I love you, ” he whispers as he holds me, stroking my hair.
“I love you, too,” I whisper back, wrapped in Jingyuan’s embrace.